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  -Part 1 :: [02.13.02]
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"The Director says he'll hand them over to Miyuki so she can handle all the paperwork. Yeah, remember her? The girl who keeps sending presents to Shion but gets as much thanks for it as a two-dollar hooker on buy-one-get-one-free night?"
     -Sam, Xenosaga Part 7

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Final Fantasy VIII : Part 2
By Jeanne
Posted 02.13.02
Pg. 1 : 2 : 3
Seifer puts his hand on Squally's shoulder and smirks, "You want to wreak some havoc, too, don't you?" Squally slaps Seifer's hand away and replies that it's a good chance to test out his training. "Thanks to you, I feel like I can take on anyone. Even if they do fight dirty, like you." The two are face to face, and I can see the sexual tension crackling in the air like pornographic lightning. No wonder so many Squall and Seifer fanfics take place in this, not that I would know, I'm just guessing.

Well, duh.

Zell walks up to this little...encounter and expresses his confusion. "I thought you guys didn't get along? You're like, all buddy-buddy now." God, it's so obvious, even Zell can see it. Zell once again tries to be the voice of caution. Seifer will not let Zell's conscience get in the way of his own badass rebelness, and announces that Squad B will secure the [facility]. I'm guessing that this is the tower. Zell is so pissed, he is shaking. He doesn't realize that this is Seifer's attempt to get Squally alone, and ends up following along.

Their trek leads them across a giant stone bridge and up into the mountain region. A wounded Dollet soldier tells all of us that the Galbadian soldiers have entered the [Communication Tower], which also happens to be a nesting ground for monsters. Right on cue, a big snake-like monster attacks the soldier, and the boys have to fight it. This is where Seifer explains to us that the person who gets the finishing blow (don't be sick) gets the most experience points. This is also where I finally get the knack of Seifer's gunblade.

Nice position there, Squally.

At the top, Squally and Seifer hunker down behind a bunch of rocks and watch the entrance to the Communication Tower below. The soldiers announce that the generator is up and running, and some other stuff about repairs almost completed. Zell wonders what the hell they are doing. Squally and Seifer don't care; they just wonder how they can get some privacy. After all, Squally's already in the right position.

Squally and Seifer stand up as the soldiers go back inside the tower. They have yet another moment as Zell looks on from the sidelines. Seifer says, "This must be your first real battle. You scared?" "I don't know," Squally replies, one hand on his hip in a coquettish fashion, "I try not to think about it." Seifer boasts that he is afraid of nothing. "The way I look at it, as long as you make it out of a battle alive, you're one step closer to fulfilling your dream." Awwwww. I know what his dream is. "What!? Your dream?" Squally asks. This is the most emotion he has shown in the entire game thus far. Seifer wonders if Squally has a dream. This reminds me of high school when I liked someone and he liked me, but he didn't know I liked him and I didn't know if he liked me, and we would have conversations like this.

"...Sorry, but I'm gonna pass on that subject," Squally tells Seifer, despite the fact that he wants nothing more than to fling himself into Seifer's arms and......okay, once again I am getting carried away.

Zell wants in on the conversation. We know this because he says, "Yo! Let me in on it, too!" I giggle when Seifer tells him to mind his own business. Zell starts shaking with pissedoffedness again. More taunting of Zell by Seifer, and finally Seifer stalks off. Poor Squally.

"There you are!" a voice calls from offscreen. We are then treated to an FMV of a girl tripping and somersaulting down a hill. It's the wildly flippy hair girl from earlier in the game. She's the comic relief. Get it? Turns out she's Selphie from Squad A, and she was ordered to deliver a message to Squad B. She asks where Seifer the Squad Captain is. Squally directs Selphie's attention to the ground below, where Seifer has just reached the entrance of the tower. Seifer then yells something to Squally. It turns out to be the most innuendo-ridden line of this entire recap: "One of these days, I'm gonna tell ya 'bout my ROMANTIC dream!" Oh please, please do. Unfortunately, he then runs inside the tower, leaving poor Squally standing there all hot and bothered.

Why, thank you.

Selphie jumps off the cliff to chase after Seifer. Squally and Zell opt to walk down the path. Only because I had a choice, and I know it affects Squally's SeeD ranking if he jumps off the cliff. Otherwise, I would be a lazyass and just jump, for cripes sakes. Upon reaching the entrance, they join forces and head into the [Communication Tower], but not before Seifer chases several poor soldiers out....and then goes back inside. There's a point in here where Selphie reminds everyone to equip their GFs. The reminder is in a yellow font this time, without brackets. I'm not sure what that means, but I thought I'd point it out.

Squally, Zell, and Selphie take the lift up to the top of the tower. It's all techno-looking, which sends old school fanboys everywhere into a tizzy. Meanwhile, at the top of the [Communication Tower], we get our introduction of Biggs and Wedge. In this particular Final Fantasy, they are Galbadian soldiers. Biggs is the guy in the big red uniform and Wedge is in the regular blue uniform. The bigger uniform means that Biggs is the superior (or maybe he gets a big uniform because his name is "Biggs"...I dunno). They are the bumbling comic relief bad guys, and in this scene, Biggs is hard at work on fixing up the tower. Wedge tells him that there have been reports of a monster-shaped shadow on the tower. Hm...I wonder if this is FORESHADOWING. Since Biggs is a bumbling bad guy, he just brushes Wedge off and begins bitching about his crappy tools. Wedge says that he'll check around while Biggs finishes the repairs - in other words, he won't do any actual work. I know people like this.

Squally, Zell, and Selphie appear at the exact moment that Biggs finishes his repairs. What perfect timing. Of course we get ominous music and a big FMV of the tower becoming operational which, although cool-looking, is utterly pointless. It's very phallic, though, and that fits in (so to speak) with our other recurring themes. So maybe it's some subtextual thing....or not.

Squally poutily demands to know what Biggs is doing there. Biggs, in turn, has read the "Big Book of Bad Guy Catchphrases," and thus demands to know what Squall is doing there. He calls upon Wedge to "Take care of these twerps!!!" but Wedge is nowhere to be found. He bumblingly realizes that he is surrounded, and tries to shimmy his way onto the lift. His little plan is thwarted by Seifer, who has just ridden the lift up. I am confused here, because where the hell has Seifer been all this time? He wasn't in the lower part of the tower, but he apparently wasn't up top either. Whoops, game designers.

"Sorry to crash the party," Seifer says, not sorry in the least. He knocks Biggs' helmet off with his gunblade. "Ah...AHH...AHHHHH! Are you CRAZY!!!" Biggs shrieks. Seifer tells him to shut up and the boss battle begins, complete with rock organ music.

Seifer has done his Seifer's Famous Disappearing Act™ again, because he is nowhere to be found in the battle. I know that there can only be three characters in battle at once, but the implication is that Seifer is standing over to the side eating popcorn or something. Hello! This is the guy who has been bitching and moaning for the last hour about wanting to fight real battles, yet here is his big chance....and he doesn't take it. Whoops, game designers.

Halfway through the (easy) battle with Biggs, Wedge shows up, only to have Biggs inform him that he won't be receiving pay this month. "...Should've stayed home," Wedge whines. I'm glad I don't have a job where my pay is dependent on not pissing my boss off. Not that I piss my boss off, but it would add an unwelcome level of stress to my life, and who needs that?

After fighting both Biggs and Wedge for a short while, they are suddenly blown offscreen by a tornadic whirlwind thingy. It's a big ugly monster, most likely the infamous shadow-casting monster at the top of the [Communication Tower]. It sort of looks like a floating Satan with a stinger instead of legs and a giant pointy chin. This battle is much harder, but I get the Siren GF. Finally, with the battle completed, Selphie gets to deliver her message to Seifer, who has miraculously reappeared. "All SeeD members and SeeD candidates are to withdraw at 1900 hours. Assemble at the [shore]!"

"Withdraw? There are still enemies around!" Seifer exclaims. Yeah, like you've done a real good job of actually fighting them. Thanks for nothing, you rat bastard. According to Seifer, 1900 is half an hour away. He runs off and takes the lift down, leaving Squally, Zell, and Selphie to fend for themselves. Yeah, Seifer, that'll get you a REAL good rating in the exam. Seifer is dumb, but I think the game designers are trying to show us just how badass he is or something. We GET IT. Squally sure seems to think that Seifer is pretty spiffy. When Zell demands, "Who the hell does he think he is?", Squally can only reply, "Why don't you ask him."

A 30 minute timer starts counting down as Squally, Zell, and Selphie step onto the lift. Once they have left the scene, Biggs, who has been lying on the ground for this whole time (Wedge is nowhere to be found), crawls over and pushes some buttons on something, saying, "Those twerps are the targets! Now GO!!! Go and DESTROY them!!!" With that lovely and cryptic statement, I save the game and leave this recap on a nailbiting cliffhanger. I know you can hardly wait to find out what happens next.

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