"Laguna runs into some of the aforementioned monsters on his way over to the pub, so I finally get to see what all the fuss is about. As expected, these are some nasty motherfuckers, and I can see why Laguna needs to recruit as much help as possible. Surely you can detect my sarcasm by now -- the monsters are totally lame. Seriously, it's a Bite Bug and a Caterchipillar. I'm pretty sure I fought these losers at the very beginning of the game. Yeah, scary -- that giant rainbow-colored caterpillar makes me shake in my boots."
Final Fantasy VIII Part 9
"The other M stands for mammaries memories"
This game is only like nine hours long, 90% of the "dialogue" is Samus talking to herself, and it's a dungeon crawler. So we'll see how this perfect storm pans out. In hour 1, Samus wanks about how sad she is that the BABY Metroid had to die in the battle against MOTHER Brain, receives a "BABY'S cry" distress signal, and travels to the deserted BOTTLE ship to investigate. We also learn that Samus has some bi-polar tendencies, swinging freely between a stoic badass and a chatty ball of hormones. More »