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"Fat Bastard asks Red Cloud if he's calm on the outside because he's paralyzed with fear. 'Too stupid to be scared.' gets my vote."
     -Kelly, Legend of Dragoon Part 3




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07.04.04 :: The Wankiest Fans

The opinions in this letters column aren't necessarily those of Jeanne Rubbo, owner of videogamerecaps.com. Even so, Jeanne owns *us* and has locked us in a dark closet with Tidus and Rinoa until we think of something funny. HELP! In the meantime, send in your comments, queries, whining, flames, spam, opinions, facts, opinions that you think are facts, and general idiocy to mailbag@videogamerecaps.com

Howdy, Mailbag Fen! It's been a while since we did this thing, but you're going to cut us some slack for the long interim after the agonizing pain wrought upon us from the last mailbag, aren't you, sweet readers?

Good.

Of course, that only accounts for half of our mailbag vacation-we've spent the rest of the break boggling at the sheer volume of letters we've received for today's topic: Psycho, Rabid Videogame Fans. A great number of you missed the point of the topic and talked about your own rabidness for whatever series, but some of those letters are included anyway, since they show that certain fans are so rabid that they misread things in haste to froth at the mouth. (Just kidding, folks. We still love you.) Also, some of you are frightening individuals we hope we never meet in a dark alley. (Not kidding about that.)

That said, onward!


Well, I'm back once again. Hopefully you won't go insane this time.

I think it's fairly safe to say that the game series with the most rabid, annoying fans would most definitely have to be the Final Fantasy series... seeing as how it's the most played and most widely known and whatnot. Of course, the attraction to FF went down after VIII was released, seeing as how the fans weren't exactly happy with the Squall/Rinoa (*COUGHSeifer*) love fest... IX was too boring for most people (which I don't understand-- I loved it)... Tidus seemed to have killed off more than a few good fans in X... and X-2 just dropped any fans still desperately clinging on for a bit of hope in the FF series.

But, I seem to recall, back in the day when VII was still the latest FF, the amazing OBSESSION the fans had with it. Me included. I feel so dorky bringing this up, but one of my favorite memories of FFVII fans is the huge war that went on between the Aeris fans and the Tifa fans. Ah yes, when people still went onto fansites dedicated to their favorite character, and on every Aeris site there were always reasons why she was so much better than Tifa and reasons why Tifa was just a huge bimbo who only wanted Cloud to get into his pants. (*shudder* poor Tifa) On every Tifa fansite there was always reasons why she was sooo much better than Aeris and how Aeris was a damsel in distress and a whore who threw herself on Cloud. And, of course, I'll never forget... the hate sites. Oh yes, the internet was absolutely filled with Aeris/Tifa hate sites... and I would flame each and every one of them, regardless of who they were attacking. It's sad to think I had nothing better to occupy my life with. *chuckles* I even remember that there was one person in particular that was in the middle of all the hate. Tifa fans loved her, Aeris fans hated her. Angel Tifa. I'll never forget it.

Personally, after I gave up on FFVIII (I still never beat it), I went out and broadened my horizons. Maybe that's why I don't go around flaming hate sites anymore. Now I think there are a lot of good games out there, and it's hard for me to just devote myself to one series. I fell in love with Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete... but Lunar 2 was terrible. From my first letter, you know I heart my Dante and the Devil May Cry games... even though 2 was terrible. (I'm sensing a pattern...) I absolutely loved Xenogears, and I'm in the process of beating Xenosaga, but I just don't understand it.. so it's uh.. terrible? Trying to keep the pattern here.. but I do like Xenosaga, and it'll probably just all fall into place at the very end, right? I mean, it better... I'm fricken 26 hours in... just got out of the Song of Nephilim.

Yeah, I could sit here and name all of the games I've played and loved, but we'd be here all day...

-Sirea

Might as well kick off the mailbag with this, since "OMG FFVII!!!" is going to be a recurring theme today.

It's when I read about stuff like this that I'm very glad I entered the Final Fantasy fandom with VIII, not VII. Not that VIII doesn't have its very own special brand of wank, but I find it really odd that people would spend so much time arguing about whether Cloud gets with the dead girl or the girl with the huge titties. I mean, does it even matter? I haven't beaten FFVII, so don't spoil the ending, but Cloud gets with Red XIII. Right? It's so obvious.

I wouldn't hold out for Xenosaga to start making sense. Ever.

-LC

Where was I in good ol' 1997 while the battle for Tifa or Aeris' supremacy raged on? Oh, yeah, I was working at my present job, as my soul prepared for its final flight from my body. But that's neither here nor there, young one. It takes a fair amount of bravery to admit that you once indulged in that most decadent of pastimes, the gamer flame-war. Why, I've seen arguments go on for days about the merits of 16-bit gaming versus its newfangled successor as the wanking and spooge flowed like wine. Good times, once you got past the crazy, and there was a metric ton of crazy hitting that there intraweb, I don't mind telling you. Still, it does my heart good to see that you've gotten past your hurdle gone on to bigger and gayer better things. Salut!

-AG

Hail thee, harbringers of doom, rulers of our sanity!

So, rabid fan, reporting in. I had my doubts about writing this, because I don't like to be considered a fucking moron with two tiny braincells to go around put in a box (albeit in this case a rather large steel one, safety-sealed and probably buried underground too), but I figured, what the hell. Time to own up.

I am a Final Fantasy nerd. First RPG and FF game I ever played was FFX.

...

I know, that sentence speaks for itself. Hey, got to start somewhere, no?

I went from OMGtehgraphicsaresokewl!!!11! to Auronistehsmex!!1! and so forth. After having played it through a couple of hundred times, I can now freely mock Tidus, Yuna, the dope-enhanced dialogue etc. Everything would be all fine and dandy, except for the fact that the brighter part of my mind actually remembers that I sighed at the love-scenes, and bawled at the ending (although whatever you say about Tight-ass, it is friggin' depressing that Auron is killed off. Except for the fact that he already was dead. You know what I mean.) Bye-bye Mr. Self-Respect!

I went back to the stores and purchased FFIX. My Final Fantasy-saturated mind went: Look at all the chibis! Chibchibi funfun! (no, that statement was not intended to be as disturbing as it tuned out) and I played the game. Oh, did I ever play that game. (For the record, Kuja is one hot bastard, and I refuse to believe he is related to Zidane. Or perchance, lightning-speed evolution at it's finest?)

Then came FFVIII. Ah the gay gay gayness of it all. Not like I need to convince anybody here...

Kingdom Hearts. Getting that Seymour-vibe looking at little Riku, and feeling generally a bit dirty (it's Donald's and Goofy's "special" relationship. Even I draw the line somewhere.), I played through the game, and lurved it.

And finally, FFX-2. I'll try to hold back the little voices which make me want to shout Best game EVAH!! and say it as a sane normal person. For a sequel, it's an excellent game, and I'm loving every second of it! (I live in good ol' Europe, so we got it a wee bit later than Americans. But the four month wait was worth it, oh yes it was, preciousssss...) I've realized that I can actually really like Tidus, especially when I don't need to endure his actual presence. Not much of Auron though. Fuckers.

So in conclusion, what can I add to this sad, sappy little monologue?

Striding proudly down the lane of the One Cynical Motherfucker, my inner RABIDZ FANGURLZ sometimes brakes through, and skippity-hopps down the mental-equivalent of the Yellow Brick Road, with the FF variants of the midgets, riding on little chocobos, and generally turning me into an unquestioning consumer-whore of Squeenix.

I try to keep it more or less to myself, realizing that a one hour discourse on TEHSUPERKEWLNESS11! of the game (FF of your choice) does not appeal to everybody. You would probably not pick up on my fangurlz vibe if I met you on the street, perhaps you would think something was odd if you saw me salivating in front of my computer at a screenshot of Kingdom Hearts II (hot damn Riku, black leather is really you) but so far, I've managed to keep my surroundings relatively unscarred. Most of them.

Your humble servant,
Sophia

Well, it's good that you admit your problem. The next step is treatment. I suggest chucking your PS2 through a window. Recappers do it all the time. For different reasons, admittedly.

I might get thrown out of the 1337 Tightass HATERZ CLUB for saying this, but I wholeheartedly agree that the little shit is much easier to tolerate when he's not around. On the other hand, Yuna, with her master plan to Become Her Boyfriend, more than compensates for the wankery hole he left in Spira by becoming ten times as wankery herself.

I hope that Kingdom Hearts II is nothing but Riku in his black leather ensemble in a dance club. Sora? Sora who?

-LC

Riku and black leather. Two great tastes that...you know, I'm not going to finish that thought since LC will start pointing and mocking and I'll have to run off for a good cry. Aaaannnnyyyywwwayyyyy... For me, even without Tidus' wanky presence in FFX-2, Yuna more than made up for it, as LC has already pointed out. It didn't help that our lovely in-game Doppelwanker had his voice actor set to "seduce" and that's a sentence I hope I never, EVER have to type again because it's bound to give me traumatic nightmares already. I could've done with more Auron, this is true, but I compensated by emulating him at every opportunity, especially when it came to "purifying" my controller with sake - well, okay, so I never actually spit it back out. It's the thought that counts, dammit.

-AG

Dear Mailbag-Ladies,

The most rabid fanboys/girls for a series... I'd say it'd have to be the Final Fantasy series, especially FFVII. I suppose it is understandable in a way, considering the fact that FFVII was many people's first Final Fantasy and it holds feelings of nostalgia and Sephy is a hot bishy dude. Mmm... Sephy... Hot despite his disturbing Oedipus complex... But I digress. Anyway, I say it has to be Final Fantasy, not only because of the caliber of the games themselves, but the sheer volume of games bearing the Final Fantasy name. There's... 15 of them that I can call to mind this moment, and I know I'm missing a couple at least. A series that large is bound to have a HUGE fanbase.

There's also the fact that they appeal to a wide range of gamers. The settings are often different, ranging from medieval to futuristic. Stories range from immersive to almost nonexistent. Most any RPG fan can find something to like SOMEWHERE in the Final Fantasy series.

And I must say that my favourite game is and forever will be FFVI.

Hope poor Mrs. AG's eyes didn't glaze over too much. Thanks for reading. Bye bye.

--Miss Tiger

Good point. The bigger a fanbase is, the more vocal are its loonies. While a relatively small fandom (say, Suikoden) can exist with a good number of sane people and a smaller number of whackjobs who (mostly) stay out of the way, the Final Fantasy fandom, big as it is, starts to look like it's overrun with scary, scary fans. It's not that they're the majority. But crazy-ass fans are really loud and hard to miss. Increase their numbers and it's like the whole universe is obsessed with Yuna's asscheeks.

-LC

Well, dear, I made it, unglazed eyes and all. I'll bet you're really happy now, huh? Since we're going to go through a lot of saying "Yes, the Final Fantasy fandom has some of the most rabid and quite often deranged fans EVER," I'll just put that out there and we can refer back to it for the rest of the mailbag. In fact, there's no reason to answer half of the damned letters at this point, it's all been summed up in the first three. I had been hoping like mad we'd get some wild-eyed slavering Parappa the Rapper fans from somewhere out there in Internet-Land, but alas, we have the Bertie Botts Every Flavor Games version of the Earwax jelly bean (I've had one, they're pretty damned nasty).

-AG

For the ever intelligent LG and AC,

"Devoted" and "rabid" are two different words. Not like "night" and "day" so much as "geek" and "omg i OTAKU lol!!1!" --*shudder*. "Devoted" is "one who can calmly recite the plots and main characters' names in a game". "Rabid" equates, in this mind, to those large ugly dogs who foam plenty at the mouth, or "one who can rattle off every single weapon, NPC, and programmer in alphabetical order and God help you if you mistaken a Master Pug for a Tonberry while they are in earshot".

Putting away the Real Life Dictionary and pulling out the Obvious Hammer. My opinion is that Legend of Zelda is the game series for devoteds while Final Fantasy is obviously the game series of rabids. It's strange (or is it?) to remark that Zelda people tend to be a bit more cool headed about plunking every single one of the games into a feasible timeline (although Nintendo says it can't be done, I am, sad person that I am, calmly trying to stuff Ocarina before Oracles and yadda yadda). You won't see them bellyache about Gohma being redone in each game--it's almost expected and welcomed.

FFers will pitch the biggest fits about the littlest things. Sephiroth's Masamune vs. Auron's Masamune: the Aesthetic Discussion (gag). Or the WEAPONs--which one attacked Junon, which one do you fight first, blah blah blah! And never, ever get caught in a forum thread called "Biggest FF Badass?" I'm still wiping off e-bits off of my monitor from those miserable little bastards who wouldn't agree with me that Auron is the biggest badass and God help you if you disagree and --

Ahem. I digress.

Oh crap. I'm both devoted and rabid. Crap crap crap.

Zelda and Final Fantasy! Now to end before AG glazes--

Well crap.

~~Ginny Lyn

I'm going to boil my response down to my gut reaction upon reading this comparison.

Nintendo > Square.

There. I said it. Flame away.

-LC

My children, what, what I ask you, is with all the "AG will probably glaze over" comments? Am I so old to young eyes? So impatient to young passions, so stony-hearted that I won't read the email you spent all those minutes creating? Well, yes, yes I am. And even I don't know what my point was in all that just now. Not being nearly as involved in the Zelda fandom as you seem to be, I'll take your word on the distinctions between "devoted" and "rabid." I won't even disagree with you on the "Auron is the bestest badass EVAR!!!" because, well, that would be stupid of me. Now I must gather my things for flight as thousands of irate Sephy fangirls prepare to descend upon me en masse. I will say this, though. There's a hell of a lot more crappy versions of "Sephiroth" on FFXI than there are versions of "Auron." And if I see another bad version of either, I'm going to have to kick the player right in the balls.

One last thing: Pssst!! One last thing. It's AG. "AC" is what I've got turned on to keep me from melting. You don't want to see your Auntie AG melting, do you?

-AG

First time writer. w00t. I was all gearing up to complain about sports games (well, not really, because to complain you have to actually care,) but then you went and ruined the fun. Anyway, the game series that is currently holding the title of "Psychotically Over- Obsessed Fans" would have to be either lovely old Silent Hill or Final Fantasy. Don't get me wrong, I love both series to pieces and would happily deck anyone who says that Mario is better, but I also heartily believe in there being a limit, and I have seen more information on SH/FF than I could ever possibly want. I think a proper google search would more than speak on my behalf at this point.

Though now that I think about it, Zelda has a pretty solid (and occasionally frightening) fanbase as well. I'm sensing an opportunity to make money and never have to work again, and its name is... Silent Zelda Fantasy. Think this could catch on?

-- aureole

Wow, you would hit someone for saying Mario is better? *looks at previous response* Ooh, I'd better watch my back.

Information saturation is my biggest problem with the Square fandom in general. It's not that I don't want to hear about new games coming out or whatnot. But while I can't piece together three good Suikoden II screenshots off any given site, I can find weight, blood type and turn-ons for every female Final Fantasy XII character. I have aggressively stopped caring about FFXII; seeing ten new message board posts about one new screenshot of Ashe's legs has the effect of making me want to play it less.

-LC

I must agree with LC. I liked it better when we didn't know every possible thing that was going to happen in a game before it made it over here. We had FFX-2 info coming out our ears a solid year before it ever made it to the states, and a multi-page thread on the forums for the "updates" from fan-sites. It all got to be way too much. The only saving grace is Silent Hill. Even with all the trailers, pre-release articles and fan-sites, you still don't know what the hell's going on in those games.

-AG

I tend to think that Final Fantasy and Xenosaga have the most rabid fans. Despite the fact that FF has big-breasted fanservice in almost all the numbered games since VII, and Shion created KOS-MOS to be her personal sex slave in Xenosaga (you don't see it, but it's there).

I'm a devoted fan of Wild Arms and Genso Suikoden. Even though I haven't seen any of you tear apart Wild Arms yet. *sigh* Wild Arms is my fave, with Suikoden (2 and 3) coming in second.

Unfortunately, both series are greatly underappreciated, and difficult to find sometimes. Which is a real shame, as they both are excellent series that any RPG fan should play. You MUST play *sends psychic control powers through monitor*

Who doesn't see that KOS-MOS is a very expensive sex toy? I'd be more worried about the people that don't see it. Subtle Xenosaga ain't.

Needless to say, I've played both underappreciated series. (Well, only the second Wild Arms, but that scarred me quite enough, thanks.) We should have a Wild Arms 2 recap coming your way soon, so never fear.

-LC

Youngling, your Jedi Mind Control isn't quite working. Full points for your power of observation, though. So KOS-MOS is Shion's lesbian sex toy? I never would've thunk it. I thought all Weapons of Mass Destruction had perky boobage and slept in a big black penis-casket. You're going to be telling me that chaos has an indecently huge wang next.

-AG

This is a first for me, writing to mailbag. I'm not sure how it works, or whatever, so I'm just going to throw a random question at you.

Have you girls played Prince of Persia, Sands of time? I guess I'm a bit behind the times here; it's been out ages, seems everyone has played it except me. Well, a friend lent it to me, and I'm finding it pretty addictive. Except that some of the parts are difficult and confusing, so I tend to give up after playing for half an hour. I never can seem to play it for more than one hour straight before it gets too annoying to be worth continuing. Why do you think that is? Have you had the same problem with this or any other games? I know it's not an RPG, but I figured maybe I could ask a question on it.

Also... I played Kingdom Hearts, and I'm beginning to feel glad that I didn't buy it. Just rented it a couple of times, Sora shall not curse my video game rack. What do you girls think of that horrible whiny dying noise that Sora makes when he gets killed (often)? It's like "oooaaahhwh..." and it drives me insane with the wanting to put a hockey stick through the tv screen. Also regretting finishing the damn game without a strategy guide.

Finally, I'd just like to say "Tidus is a wanker." I recently discovered something scary, though. I have a friend (no, that's not the scary bit), and my friend, well... I am beginning to worry about him because he says that he relates to Tidus. What kind of society are we in when there is actually a target audience for the wankiness of Tidus? I'm scared, very scared...

Thanks for the bee-yoo-tiful recaps, and keep them coming.

Much respect and gaming-frustration empathy,
Samantha, Australia.

Greetings, fellow Sam!

I haven't played Prince of Persia, but my nearest and dearest has, and from what he's told me, you shouldn't have to worry about only being able to play for an hour, as it's only about ten hours long. Seems to be a recurring problem with the action genre--super fun, super short.

As for Sora's orgasm noise...what you said.

-LC

I think the image of Haley-Joel Osment's "O-face" is going to give me nightmares. Thanks, Aussie Sam! And no, I haven't played Prince of Persia, and from the sounds of it, I may not want to. DMC2 annoyed me enough for one lifetime, thanks.

-AG

Hola yon VGR mailbaggers-

I am so strongly tempted to say Final Fantasy, since I'm a rabid FF fan and know how completely nuts FF fans gan get over the ickle details or which game is best, but I've found that Xenogears/Xenosaga has the most rabid fans. I'm taking rabid to mean "frothing at the mouth insane and trying to kill friend and foe alike". Devotion to the point of insanity counts, doesn't it?

I know the games are not technically in the same series. But since there are holy wars conducted over that issue, and they are cut from the same cloth by many of the same designers, I consider them at the very least kindred games. This series appears to have the most rabid fans partly because the game designers peppered the games with so many References of Supposed Deep and Profound Meaning that it makes the average gamer's head hurt...but is like water in a desert for the "I must know all the secrets!" players. (I happen to be one of them, but I like to pretend I know when to quit...) This also spawns a "holier-than-thou" feeling within the fanbase that makes them think that just because someone likes FFVII better, they must not "get" the Deep and Profound things Xenogears/Xenosaga are trying to say.

Xenogears: Perfect Works and the differences between plots for Xenogears and Xenosaga Ep. I and apparently Ep. II have also caused such roaring and frothing that it is frankly frightening. When Player Z gets nasty with Player X because Player X can't read Japanese and so does not know what PW says about Ramsus or, horror of horrors, calls Krelian Krelian because the *game* called him Krelian...well...that's my barometer for rabid. The FFVII war over if the Planet decided to kill off all the humans pales in comparison.

Incoherently,
Princess Artemis

Recently I sat through a thirty-five minute presentation in my English class about the deep and philosophical mythology in Xenosaga.

Preaching to the choir.

I attribute a lot of the Xenogears/'Saga insanity to the fact that both games were very much geared toward anime fans (save those folks who were pissed off that it ripped off Evangelion), and excepting the Harry Potter fandom, no one brings the crazy like anime fans. And that brings in a lot of the intellectualism, pretension, and worst of all, Japanese!wank. Shudder.

-LC

You mean all that stuff had some SUPA SECRET meaning? I thought they just needed a thin yet ominous-sounding plotline to base a decent game around and left it at that! I think I need a lie-down now.

-AG

Long time, no write. I'm lazy. Sue me.

Hands-down, I'd have to say that the Soul Calibur has the most rabid, devoted fans ever. These people are scary. They have these really odd rituals and they scream a lot. No. Seriously.

They gather in hordes to pay hommage to their game-god. I hear some of them even dress similarly to their favorite characters and they carry around wooden or plastic weapons they made themselves. In case you don't know, giving these people weapons is very bad. Then, they hold "tournaments" where they all compete against each other. That's where the screaming--and fake weapons--come in handy. Some of them spend months and months on end perfecting their fighting technique in anticipation of these tournaments. They go without food, water, showers, air . . . okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. They don't go without water.

I've had such a gathering in my very house and it gets really, really frightening. The rabidness of these fans is just not comparable to anything else.

Sadly, I've become one of them. Somebody help me!

*~Rynoah~*

My only experience with crazy Soul Calibur fans is all the squeaky fangirls who are in it for the hawt menz. I mean, if that's your thing, it's a good fandom to be in, but I can't help but bristle just a little bit when some fangirl squees that Nightmare's blondie bishounen form is sooooooo much better than his other forms because with the disfigurement? SO not cute.

Though, who the hell am I to talk? I'm a freaking Mitsurugi fangirl.

-LC

Plastic/wooden weapons + rabid fandom gamers hopped up on sugar and caffeine = Somebody's losing an eye. Won't someone please think of the eyes?!

-AG

I don't know if the topic is still valid, but let me give it a try ^_^. Well, I have played a lot of rpgs(only the Play Station X ones, though), and the 2 best ones (in my opinion) that will always have a place in my heart are Xenogears and Suikoden II. About Xenogears, yes, Fei is whiny, but give him a break, he has got every single good reason to be like that! First of all, he is just 3 year old (yes, he has got a grown up body, but his actual persona was born only 3 years before), and you can't expect a 3 year old individual to be very strong minded. Then, they killed his best friend before his eyes; just after that, he himself killed his other best friend, along with a good lot of other innocent people; as if that wasn't enough, he got involved in a war against the Baddest Empire Ever (those freaks used to kidnap innocent people from the Surface, force them to work as slaves and, when they got too old to work, butcher them and feed them to the other slaves!!! It is SICK!!!); then, he found out there was a blood-thirsty demon-like mass-murderer sealed within his soul; eventually his worst enemy was revealed to be his father AND the second persona of his previous life, who kept himself alive by changing body with a spell. Now, Fei is not my favourite character (that is Bart), but I think it is very unfair to judge him just a whiny worthless wanker: after all the crap he has been through, he has got the right not to be happy-go-lucky! About Suikoden II, I just LOVE it!!! It has got a very good story, 4 alternative endings, miniquests that are worth to do, a lot of great characters (and some lousy ones, but nothing is perfect) and a Bad Guy who you can truly hate from the bottom of your heart and therefore enjoy slaying. Beside, it is one of the few rpgs with truly strong women: my favourite character Nanami (even if she often whines about returning to Kyaro and all, she still kicks asses! I love the scene in which she beats up the brats who picked on little Hero and Jowy), Annabell, Lucia (I don't like her, but she IS strong), Elza and some of the 108 stars like Valeria and Lorelai. About Elza, she is truly awesome! Her love-hate relationship with Clive (one of the straighest males of the story, and in Suikogaiden he is HOT, much more than he is in Suikoden II) is so cool! I felt like crying when he eventually killed her, and I hadn't even gotten the story straight! I just understood that Elza had for some reasons killed Clive's best friend and stolen some guns and therefore he vowed to kill her, and that was that; then I found a site whose host had both read the book of Suikoden II and played Suikogaiden (in which Elza explains a lot of things to Nash), and so it had a very detailed section on Elza, Clive and Kelley's story, and it really made me cry for a whole hour! My only regret about this game is that, even after I finished it for the second time, I still could not forgive Jowy, and therefore could not truly enjoy the good ending... Actually I was so mad at him that I wished I could let him die and still save Nanami. I MIGHT have forgiven him for the murder of Annabell (I liked her very much), I MIGHT have forgiven him for the slaughter of those refugees from Muse, I EVEN MIGHT have forgiven him for trying to kill both Hero and Nanami, but what made me so ROYALLY pissed off at him is that he prevented his soldiers from killing Hero and Nanami not because they were his best childhood friends, but because HE DIDN'T WANT TO KILL IN FRONT OF PILIKA!!! THE FUCK!?! NOT TO SCARE A BRAT HE MET JUST A FEW MONTHS BEFORE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN NOT TO KILL HIS BEST FRIENDS HE GREW UP WITH!?! I feel I am gonna puke... Well, that's all, sorry for the lenght.

Jane

We tried, earnestly, to read this email. About five times. Then AG started drinking heavily and screaming. Folks, it just ain't happenin'. Tell you what. If some intrepid soul would like to translate this into something readable, we'll respond to it in the next mailbag. Capiche?

- AG and LC

What game series has the most rabid fans? Well, I'm not even going to go into series, I'll just start with game, because I think I could go on forever for that one. Final Fantasy VII, without a shadow of a doubt. I can think of no other videogame fandom as wanky as that one (obviously, the Harry Potter and LotR fandoms are wankier, so I had to limit it to only videogame fandoms, but you get the point, I think). I've been around that fandom in various places for a long time, fanfiction, message boards, and my personal favorite, RP. Just tonight in RP, we had a raging arguement on which WEAPON attacked where, and WTF was that random WEAPON that attacked Junon. I can think of a half-million stupid little disputes I've seen, ranging everywhere from what does Ribbon protect against, what changes were made from japanese to english version, and of course, the ubiquitous "Aeris or Aerith" debate.

I don't think I need to mention much on that one, save for the fact that we're talking a raging arguement (anyone who thinks this isn't raging needs to take a gander at the gamefaqs Advent Children forum. Sheesh.) about /which OFFICIAL version of a character's name is correct./ And that's not to mention the people that run around screaming that if Aeris can be spelled Aerith, can't Sephiroth be Sephiros? (I'm still looking for someone to notice that on all official documents where Midgar is written in english it says "Midgul," but alas, I seem to be alone in this discovery.)

I can't really report the rabid devotion of the FFVII fans from a proper viewpoint, obviously, being that I am one, and that I'm not a proper fence-sitter in all circumstances, but I do think that it is the worst I've seen for any videogame fandom. I don't know WHY this game merits so much wankiness, but it seems to - I've never seen any FFVII (or related things, such as the FFVII content in Ergeiz or KH, or AC.) BBS/topics/chats/LJ-comms that didnt' proceed to become raging drama. Maybe it comes from being the first FF on the PS, or having such gaping plot holes, or maybe it was the style of post-apocalyptic sci-fi that FFVII has that just draws attention whores like flies, but I... have nothing really witty to say further. (Not that ANY of that was really witty or intellegent... oh well. xD)

-Katy "Kaiser-chan" Stetkiewicz

Gonna go on a small tangent for a minute. One sec.

Oh, GOD. My ambivalence toward Final Fantasy XII has nothing on my apathy for Advent Children. What's that? L@@K at Tifa and AeriTH!!! and Cloud and Sephiroth and Vincent are OMG HAWT and THIS WILL ANSWER SO MANY UNSOLVED QUESTIONS!!!

Don't care. At all.

As for Aeris/Aerith? I've tried not to get into it, as I really, really loathe Japanese!wank, and that's really all it is.

-LC

Hey, I'll probably see AC at some point in the future, just because I happen to like Vincent. But I tend to avoid most of the hype surrounding it because, well, I can only take so much wank in a given period of time without stabbing someone. Mr. AG doesn't like it when I get that maniacal gleam in my eye and he has to hide the cutlery.

I've played FFVII and, well, it was okay. Maybe if I'd been in on it when it first came out, I'd feel differently, but who knows? I tend to save my irrational fan-girl squeeing for the Metroid series, anyway.

-AG

Dear Mailbag:

Rabid fans of a videogame series? Hmmm. For me, I guess it would be....

KINGDOM HEARTS!!!!

Yes, I'm a complete KH obsessive. And proud of it. When I heard there was a sequel, uh..... you wouldn't want to be around me. I was sorta hyper. If sorta means jumping up and down going "YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYSEESYESYES
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for near fifteen minutes.

Personally, I need to see if Mr. Riku Gullible does something stupid. Again. I seriously need to kill the guy who thought him up, did his voice acting, etc.. *adds somemore people to my hit list*

>From very reliable sources (animemusicvideos.org ansemreport.com), I have found that --The following are spoilers--

1- Ansem is BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!! *Cue organ music*
2- there are a gazillion Keyblade holders.
3- Mickey is back.
4- Riku is supposedly back (to me, the one drawback)
5- There is this kickass unknown (NEO) dude who has the Oathkeeper and Oblivion keychain that can run up walls and kill the buffed-up muscle heartless with, like, one blow.

*takes a break from writing this email to print out pictures of Riku and burn them*

Yes, I hate Riku. Hate him, hate him, hate him. Hatehatehatehatehatehate. Thank God for Sora. *hugs Sora action figure* SORA IS NOT A WANKER!!!! (The recaps are freeking hilarious, though.)

Well, that's my videogame obsession.

Your local Riku/Tidus hater, Sora/Auron lover,

Sailor-Titain

Please calm down. You're scaring children and small animals.

Kingdom Hearts is really no exception to Square fen's problem of saturating the Internet with every goddamn little detail. Therefore, we know most of that stuff already. But thanks for reminding me of the footage I saw two years ago. Refreshing.

So...do you hate the characters Riku and Tidus (obviously you loathe Riku), or the pairing Riku/Tidus? And Sora/Auron? Holy shit, I don't even want to know.

-LC

Hell with children and small animals, you're scaring the fuck out of me. And did you miss the part where we asked for an opinion on who you thought had the most rabid fandom or were you just so excited for the chance to tell the whole world about how much you lurve KH that the instructions went in, rattled around a bit and came out the other side?

-AG

Mmm...fanboys.

I think that Final Fantasy has the most hardcore fans, especially Final Fantasy VII. Whether it's cosplay or fucking obsessing over the preprogrammed characters, FF fans are hardcore. Ever since the original Final Fantasy came out, people have been posing as fighters and black mages. It's sad and wrong.

Sad but true story: There's this guy that lives in my friend's dorm that is obsessed with Final Fantasy XI. Hes even gone so far as to dress like his character, coming to class wearing a chain mail and a cape. As soon as classes finish, he literally runs to his room to play Final Fantasy XI. He has about 500 hours on his game file. It's sickening.

Sure, other series, like Sonic and LOZ have some pretty hard fans, but you don't see people dressed up like hedgehogs or gay elves nearly as much as mages.

almighty skeptic

I'd rather not go hunting for pictures, as I'm eating and I don't need the stomach disruption, but I assure you, PLENTY of folks dress up as gay elves.

FF fans are still scarier, though.

-LC

Hey, if I could look like my FFXI character, I'd run around in that black-and-white undie set, too. Just not in a collegiate setting.

-AG

A mi maibag favorita:

In a respone for the latest quandry, I have ponderedd dilligently for about 75 seconds, before coming down with three games that are equally popular with equally rabid fanbases. And so, in no particular order:

COUNTER-STRIKE
A game that's quickly become the most popular online game there is. Bieng an online shooter game with excelent playability and non-spectacular graphics makes it popular on many computers. The ability to create your own maps/mods and add sounds and visuals to it gave it longevity. It's created it's own set of language, most notably 'pwn' and '1337.'

WARCRAFT Series
Much like Counter-Strike, Warcaft's main contingency of fans results from online play and mod capability. It's rabid fanbase resulted in the highest pre-selling game in videogame history, WarCraft III.

STARCRAFT series
This probably could have been grouped with Warcraft as 'Blizard RTS games' but it has an entirely different set of fans. The fans of this game are just as rabid, and talk just as much crap about their game being the best game ever. Also benefits greatly from the ability to play online. Wait for Starcraft: Ghost to see how many fans of the RTS die off when they make it a FPS...

Well...that's my take on the rabid fanbase issue. All three are PC games becuase frankly, PC games always will be more popular than console games due to the lack of competition. Anyway; *leaves to play Madden because I'm too out of shape to play football in real life or something*

--zero--

Your letter raises an interesting question, one that we'll have to address in a future mailbag: is there any rabid fanperson wanking that's wankier than the age-old Console vs. PC Debate? I mean, the proof's in the pudding: you're the only one who wrote in to us about nothing but PC games, most likely because VGR, given its source material, is home to a LOT of console snobs. In fact, if we were to make this a mailbag topic, the replies would probably be extremely one-sided in favor of console games.

And it's a shame, because a good, drawn-out Console vs. PC bitchfight has all the good components: jargon-filled spec comparisons, Nipponophile snobbery, economic Mason-Dixon lines (we're too POOR for all those consoles, let's just play with our PC!), and probably at least one person posting that picture of Erik Estrada that says "YOU'RE A HOMO" at the bottom.

Awesome.

-LC

Hey, a PC gamer! Cool! Now me, I tend to call myself a "console gamer" just so's people who think all games are played on PC don't start asking me for help in getting past the third level of Baldur's Gate or Age of Empires. My neighbor's eldest is over at our house all the time anyway, asking for help in Soul Reaver 2. That's when a broadband connection and GameFAQs come in quite handy.

I've played both kinds of games and still do. Never saw any reason to get my panties in a wad about it all. Of course, VGR has at some points come under criticism because we don't have any PC games up on the roster, thus negating the entire site in some gamer's eyes. I could see their point, but to do so would mean that I would have to hit myself repeatedly over the head with a hammer for Excessive Fanboy Wank. No thanks.

I also love your little ending line about PC games being more popular than console. Nice bit of snobbery there, you get full marks. Just ignore everyone else pointing and mocking and you'll be fine.

-AG

In response to this week's Mailbag question of "Which Game Series Has the Most Rabid, Devoted Fans", I personally would be more than happy as to point out some of the most rabid of fans.

*cracks knuckles*

In my honest-to-God opinion, I personally believe that the Golden Sun fandom is the most rabid and vile of all gaming fandoms I have ever encountered. While I'll admit that the gameplay of both Golden Sun games is rather fun and addicting, the storyline is weak, and the characters are pretty bland in comparison to other RPG characters. However... ...these fans seem to find hidden meaning and motives behind characters. An example would be one of Emporer Babi. Now, Babi is your average, run in the mill, 150 year old plus guy. He doesn't want to die, and lives off a Lemurian draught that extends his lifespan. The man tried to build a lighthouse so he could see Lemuria in the fog, and arrested Sheba in order to get Laliviero to meet his ends.

Somehow, GS fans see him as a cold-hearted, ruthless, uncaring dictator, which is rather funny, considering how wealthy and prosperous Tolbi is, and the inhabitants don't seem to mind his actions at all, bar his arresting of Sheba. Also, they worship the characters as if they were as ground-breaking as ... I don't know what. Claiming them to be "awesome", "deep", and "memorable". Yeah, I had NO idea that the same stupid banter repeated OVER and OVER again makes characterization.

Someone asked me on FF.N once at the end of a story "what did Golden Sun mean to you?". I replied,that to me, it was some teenagers chasing around some face-painted warriors with the power to destroy the world. The author than emailed me, going nuts at me, practically SCREAMING at me that the game was about "TRYING TO KEEP YOUR WORLD THE SAME, WHILE OTHERS TRY TO CHANGE IT". Which I promptly went into a Tightass moment and was all "Huh?"

...I'm gonna end this letter right now, thank you vewwy much.

~Saturos

I still think it's funny that people say Golden Sun is awesome and Beyond the Beyond is terrible in the same breath.

The overinvestment in the characters and plot is pretty funny, though. (It explains where all that GS slash comes from, that's for sure.) And people think Jeanne is bad for saying Squall has TEH GAY.

-LC

Hail the Mailbag Divas!

On March the 13th of the year A.D. 2004, the ones known as Auron's Girl and Lita-chan inquired of which game series produced the most zealous fandom. It was foreseen by the Archaic Scriptures (TM) that the cry of "XENO-FANS!!" would resound around the globe a fortnight later. Yet is there a reason behind such enthusiastic resonation?

In the computer labs of a German University a scholar types his thoughts on the matter...

I'll go out on a limb and say that most of us like to think of ourselves as "better" than others; the last mailbag served as a perfect example, what with all those RPG fans showing contempt to the "lazy" sports games fans. Much like anime tends to cause certain Westerners to sing its praises as the next Fine Art (with ephitets like 'deep', 'philosophical', 'mature', 'esoteric', 'homoerotic', 'not for kids'), so the more plot-heavy game series get their share of mouthy pseudo-intellectuals humping its collective legs.

So it's no surprise that the more rabid fanboys and fangirls would circulate around Xenogears (and its Prequels-That-Are-Not, Xenosaga): a plot-heavy game with varied religious and psychological references. Where others would feel annoyed at the blatant obviousness that is the Soylent System, the Xeno-fans would feel clever for catching the reference. Plus, the game has anime cutscenes and nudity (plus the lesbians and well-hung bishies of Xenosaga), for that part of their brains that reside below the waist.

Addendum: writing this letter, I realize that all this reasoning about Xeno-zealots can also be applied to the Harry Potter fandom (replace "Soylent System" with "Remus Lupin" or "Sirius Black", they both carry their plot twists on their names), which implies that somewhere, a lonely nerd is theorizing about the future of the series whilst bouncing ideas for his Ginny/Luna fic. Meanwhile JKR is tossing and turning in her sleep.

~Quartz Falcon

HOY, QF!

I surprised myself by realizing that I hadn't really thought of Xenogears/'Saga this way before. Because you're right--when it comes to fanboys/girls, the series really runs the gamut. If it isn't some philosophy major asshole ranting on and on about the Deep Meaning of Bart Fatima's whip, it's some shrieking fangirl writing steamy smut fanfic about Bart Fatima's whip.

And then there's the SHION IS SMRT ADN A HOTTIE NO RILLY SEE THE GLASSES!!!!111 contingent. How I love them.

-LC

Initial reaction on seeing the "Soylent System" come up on the screen: "Hmm, that's kinda funny, okay, moving on." And Xenosaga, well, I tried to keep things straight in my head for a while, then gave up and just played the damned game anyway, joining LC in the Junior-love. I try not to over-think my games, for therein lies a headache, an incoherent rant, and more heavy drinking.

Nice corollary to the HP fandom, QF, felling two wanky fandoms with one almighty swoop. It makes me heartily glad that I'm only involved in one of them, and that I can quit dressing up in full Potter regalia any time I want. Really. I can.

-AG

After the sport game mailbag, you ask for which game has the most rabid fans. Is this some sort of self-imposed punishment?

I can't speak for everyone, but I am a FF7 733t fan. In a past mailbag, you can see how me and my sibs sacrificed a PSONE for lack of a memory card. That should be evidence enough, but since I've bled that topic dry in the mailbag and in the forums a while ago, let me mention other fanssessions.

FF7 is my gateway drug into everything fanwanky and beyond. Its the first console game that I could call my own. (Even though I had to share custody, we all know that Cloud loved this mommy best.) I played it (and finished it) about 7 or 8 times. During the last times we've gotten Master Summon and Master Magic for everyone, as well as maxing out every single stat. Every single item that was stealable/morphable/buyable, we had 99 of them. I've told the entire Vincent storyline and the Sephiroth storyline to a friend of mine who didn't know who two bishies in a pretty pic were.

I compare every single game I play to it. I've always preffered the materia system to any other. So what if anyobody could use any type of magic? That's the beauty of it! I LUVED the Golden Saucer and all the minigames it had, especially the snowboard one. I would play it for hours on end with Cid in the party because I swear he could snowboard faster than Cloud and Tifa. (I'm sure spiky-ass hair and humongous pixelated breats aren't aero-dynamic.) I would have been happier if the character you use wasn't random. I still haven't played an RPG with such variety of FUN minigames. Consider the drill game in Xenosaga. Now there's a winner!

As I've mentioned before, FF7 started it all. The first fanart I ever saw: Aeres holding two giant material balls where her breasts should be and Cloud salivating in a corner with an erect Buster sword. The first fanfic I've ever read: something about a Mary Sue that was genetically enginereed as Sephiroth's sister. (Of course, I've read better since.) The first yaoi couple I've ever seen and read about: CidxVincent. (Don't ask me how I avoided all the SephxCloud's. I still don't know) How did I stumble unto VGR? Well, the FF7 recap, of course.

Final Fantasy 7 is my beginning, crappy pixels and all.

Against all good sense, I am strangely compelled to see this fanart.

-LC

Find the link and I'll join you, LC. It's got to be better than the Barret/Aeris, RedXIII/Aeris hentai that seems to keep going around.

-AG

Greetings Mailbag Deae~~~<3 <3 <3

There is one obvious answer to your question about which game series has the most rabid fanboys. That is the Xenoseries. Xenogears/Saga fanboys tend to be arrogant faux intellectual ponces with nothing better to do than to sit around certain sites which shall not be named and post long back and forth arguements using things that their Lord Takahashi may or may not have said in some interview. It is understandable that one would point out certain literary references, but not jump down the throats of the entire game and push you're own ideals upon those who interpret the game differently.

There are three types of Xenofanboy.

Type A: The Seperatist: These fanboys advocate that Xenogears is perfect and anyone who does not like it is evil. They say that Xenosaga is not related to Xenogears at all and all those who believe that idea should be shot. These people tend to say that Xenosaga was to cutsceneful.

Type B: The Unionist: Unionists enjoy to connect every single moment in the game to another point in the opposite game. These are the people who continually state that Albedo is Id or that Shion will be the Mother. Even though both of those theories are well, you know, insane. They tend to love Xenosaga and Xenogears equally, and they believe that Takahashi is hiding the connections because Square Enix will sue.

Type C: The Worshipper: These are the loewest of the low of the low of the low of the bottom of the fanboy barrel. Anyone who disagrees with their view on any of the games is automatically a satanist, a baby killer and a blasphemer. The have a "logical" explanation for everything, and can not take their games lightly. I hope that this has helped us in the new Fanboy hunting and identification season.

~~~~~~~With Much Love
~~~~~~~~~Dajibael

Yes, Xenogears is - perfect - . Especially its - awesome - translation.

In my experience, most of the people who didn't like the bevy of cutscenes in Xenosaga only played the first couple hours or so, which is probably the most cutscene-heavy part of the game. Honestly, I was more fed up with the three-hour dungeons that only had one save point. Cutscenes? Not so bad.

With respect to the unionists: Daji, I know you looooove hearing this, so...

CHAOS = MIANG

Couldn't resist.

-LC

You know, my only issue in this is that I just didn't like Xenogears enough to go this far into it. To be honest, the fanfolks that take so far as to be classed into three distinct camps make me want to lock myself in my bathroom and never come out again.

-AG

I always promised myself I'd try my hand at a mailbag topic one of these days...

I'm sure you're going to get a million of these, but seriously, Final Fantasy pretty much takes the cake in the world of rabid fandom. It's got to be the most cosplayed, most fanfic-ed, most doujinshi-ed RPG series in the history of RPGs. Not to say that the die-hard fans of any other series are any less rabid, but FF has found safety in numbers so to speak.

Personal experiences with FF maniacs have convinced me that the series is home to some of the most obsessive, anal, and positively annoying fans...and I can still say this while proudly claiming to be a devoted FF-fan. Just as there are good and bad in every group, there are the "normal" fans who realize that it's all just fantasy and a game, and then there are those who still refuse to believe Sephiroth killed Aeris and Tidus is a dream. These rabid fans are willing to give you a 20-minute lecture on any given aspect of the series that you're apparently unschooled in...which is any aspect that you differ in opinion with them.

Point in case: While attending an anime convention, I happened upon a piece of Sephiroth merchandise in the dealer room and quickly snatched it up. While paying for my new acquisition, I mentioned to my friend that I had just scored "an awesome Sephiroth wallscroll". Suddenly, the fanboy radar was activated and I was accosted by a man in his late 20's who was nearly purple in the face, trying not to scream at me that I had mispronounced "Sephiroth". No matter how many times I replay the conversation, I still stand firm that it is "Sephi-roth" and not "Sef-eer-ith" as he was arguing.

Seriously, had my patience allowed me, I could have easily spent hours with this man debating over the pronunciation of the name...but, I have a life, and therefore just ended up walking away.

So, in short, sorry to be cliche with the reply, but it's got to be Final Fantasy. I've seen my own share of crazy Zelda, Breath of Fire, Xenogears, .hack, etc. fans as well...but the untold number of stories I have of Final Fantasy fans makes it the top in my list of crazy fanbases.

- Lisa

I really have no comment about your letter, other than that I've had a similar experience, albeit with manga. I was picking up a copy of Mixx's horrible Sailor Moon manga translation in a Barnes and Noble about three years ago. It was actually my birthday, and I was buying myself a little present.

Some asshat in a Dragonball Z shirt saw me getting it and told me "Bunny" (Usagi's dub name in the manga) was not her real name. Yeah, really? Didn't know that or anything. I said, "Yeah, it's Usagi. But it means 'rabbit.'" The guy went on a twenty-fucking-minute tirade about how Usagi does NOT mean "rabbit," and it actually is some complicated pun for sparkly moon fairy butterflies or some shit.

No, dude, it means "rabbit." GOD.

So...yeah. I've been there.

-LC

I'm going to rank that right up there with those who insist on pronouncing "Tidus" as "Tee-duh." Yes, I know full well that the Japanese pronunciation of the name is "Tee-duh", but, and this is the important bit, we're not all Japanese. Knowing the "proper" Japanese pronunciation of the name and using it for the Americanized version of the game even when the Americanized version is clearly different does not make you cool. Got that, fanfolks?

-AG

Hello there, ever-lovable, ever-snarky mailbag gals! I'm really kicking myself that I didn't reply to the last mailbag, but you and I share pretty much the exact same views, so it's all good.

Now, as for this maibag, thank you for putting it together, as I've not a lot to say on the subject, but it does get me riled up, and that's always fun. Plus I haven't let off steam in quite a while. Erm, I'm rambling, aren't I? Please don't hurt me. Seriously, please. Stop. No. Put the weapons down! Stop! AAAH! Somebody, send HELP!

...But I digress...

As much as I love the dear Final Fantasy series, there are way too many rabid fangirls and boys that worship it like a cult, and for the wrong reasons. It makes me hurt inside. I will admit, I am a great lover of the series. It's a beautiful series with likeable, and also very hateable characters. On that note, I owe a deep apology to Jeanne. When I first read her recap of X I thought "Oh, Tightass can't be THAT bad!" Five minutes into the game I was weeping for his demise. Now being several hours into the game (and beyond the Laughing Scene, ugh, my sanity) I can tolerate him no more. But I have to. I have become addicted to the bloody game, I love Auron, and I will not let that snivelling little wanker ruin it for me!*

...Anyway, FF is cursed with the worst fanbase ever it seems. Thousands of "shrines" plague the internet in the form of Geocities pages or even worse, unintelligable blogs, all featuring more than one person who thinks "FF7 IS TEH BEST BCUZ SEPHIROTH IS TEH HAWTZORZ ADN OMG TEH BIG SWROD HE IS TEH KEWLIST EVAR!" The pain. The pain. VII seems to get this the most, which pains me a lot. I love VII. I admit I can pretty much recite the entire script word for word. I certainly know that just because it's a good game, it's not the best in existence, and it's definitely not my favorite just because of the generic resident white-haired pretty boy with the bad attitude and the big sword.

*ahem* I talked to a 21 year old girl that, and I am not kidding you, if the VII movie doesn't get a North American release, she'll kill herself. "I won't have anything else to live for" were her exact words. I thought she was joking, but she was quite insistant that she was serious. This looks like a job for... The Nice Men in Shiny White Jackets!!

*sighs* I think I've rambled on quite enough, and you all probably get my point. Now I believe we should all ban together and torch all the rabid fangirls and boys from existence, so the world will be a better place, and I will be able to sleep a little better at night. And the hurting will stop.

~Shadow Vandale~
*Side note: Best part about FFX that has made the whole game a little easier to tolerate: "accidentally" casting Fire on Tightass, causing him to scream in agony and me to yell out in glee. So beautiful. *weeps* ...Seriously, it was accidental! >_>

I'm getting the impression from you guys that FFVII has rabid fans? Is that a fact?

What, exactly, is it about this game that gets so many people's panties in a wad? Is it the fact that it was the first ever Final Fantasy for so many people? That it was the first "3D" Final Fantasy? That there's swearing and adult themes and OMG This Game Is For Adults? That "Aeris" might actually be spelled "Aerith" and no one can seem to shut up about it? WHAT?!

I admit that the appeal is lost on me, given my aforementioned late entry into the fandom, so maybe I just am incapable of understanding. All I can say is that the translation is really fucking bad, maybe even worse than Suikoden II's, and Suikoden II was a good game, so FFVII must be AMAZING.

-LC

Yeah, we've covered this. FFVII has not only the most wanky, rabid fans of all time, but they love tell us about it, too. In depth. But you know, seeing "Zombie, Brain-Eating Aeris" in the cosplay photos is kind of amusing, if only for the fanboy rage it inspires. Besides, you like to set Tidus on fire. I like that about a person.

-AG

Fuck YOU!!!!!!1

No real point to posting this. We just thought it was funny.

- AG and LC


Okay, that's it. We're done. Stick a fork in us, but please avoid the eye area, it's already weeping tears of blood. My God, you people and your game obsessions are frightening.

And now is the time when you're eagerly scanning the ending bit, looking to see what the new topic is going to be and when our arbitrary deadline might be for sending in your letters. Some of you are even gearing up your email programs so as to be the first in the queue. Well, you can all just put those typing fingers down right this minute and listen up. There's some big changes a-comin' with this here mailbag, and we're doing away with the topics to get us going in our new direction. You can find out more at the main Mailbag page, so what're you waiting for?

We'd also like to extend a hearty and heartfelt "Thank You" to everyone whose letters have graced our mailbag these past two years. We couldn't have done it without you.

With love,

AG and LC

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