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"When the final statue ascends its penis pedestal, a rather arousing (to Twink) thing happens. A triangular shape protrudes from the midsection of each of the dildo statues, and from it, a shot of white blasts out. This jizz beam causes a larger vertical jizz beam to emerge from the center pedestal. The power of the man statue juice allows Twink to transport to the next level of the penis."
     -Jeanne, Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker Part 6

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Sam and Kelly's Pit of Flames and Troll Roast

Welcome to Sam and Kelly's Pit of Flames and Troll Roast, where once a month we cull through the accumulated spam, flame-mails, stupid questions, and indignant fanboy diatribes we receive then point and mock for your amusement and ours. Because nothing brings the funny like an angry 13-year-old ranting about how we ruined FFVII - NOTHING.

Disclaimer Statement:
The opinions, pointing and mocking of Sam and Kelly's Pit of Flames and Troll Roast aren't necessarily those of Jeanne Rubbo, owner of All e-mails sent in to become the property of Sam and Kelly, until Jeanne takes them away from us and send us to our rooms without dinner. You've been warned.

Most recent entry:
08.20.05 - A Wellspring of Wankers

07.04.04 - The Wankiest Fans
03.13.04 - Sports Games: T3H 3B!L?
01.27.04 - Christmas Wishes
12.05.03 - Games that might not suck
10.23.03 - Getting to Know Us
09.26.03 - Crazy Fanfolk
08.29.03 - Happy Birthday to the Mailbag!
07.31.03 - Recaps of the Future
07.12.03 - It's Poll-a-licious!
06.16.03 - Licensed to Suck
05.20.03 - Triforce of Gayness
04.29.03 - Worst Otaku Moments
04.03.03 - Cry, cry, cry
03.20.03 - Rating System: Good or Bad?
03.12.03 - Hype and Hyperactivity
02.26.03 - Scary butt sex
02.17.03 - Pixelated Valentines
01.31.03 - Spam, spam, spam
01.24.03 - Replay Value
01.10.03 - Santa's Sack
12.18.02 - Bad boys (and girls)
12.11.02 - Super Puzzle Mailbag I Turbo
12.05.02 - Malboros Suck Ass
11.21.02 - The Birds, the Bees, and the Wankers
11.14.02 - Gameplay that does and doesn't suck
10.24.02 - Mini-games: A love/hate relationship
10.16.02 - Why we play games
10.09.02 - Freaks and Geeks
10.02.02 - D?j? vu all over again
09.26.02 - Where the wankers are
09.18.02 - "Mary Sue" -- in honor of us all
09.11.02 - Big Gay Squall's Big Gay Boat Ride
09.05.02 - Overcoats are red, mages are blue
08.28.02 - Soylent Green is people
08.21.02 - Where's the love?
08.14.02 - Tidus: Not a wanker?
08.07.02 - The First Mailbag Ever

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