Introduction
For those of you who haven't been paying attention in class, "Wankese" refers to the annoying Wonder Years-style voiceovers that Tidus uses throughout FFX. The following is a test of your Tidusish skills in generating Wankese.

Fill in the blanks
In this section, you are provided with five Wankese paragraphs where some words and phrases are missing. It's up to you to fill them in with something creative and hopefully amusing. Please fill in each blank with a word or a phrase. Don't use the blanks to separate sentences (ex.-- a wanker. So I went to VGR because it was such a cool site. Then, I wondered why) because that's cheating and your answer will be laughed at and scorned.

1) I thought back to the first time Auron _____ my _____. I was really young at the time, and I didn't understand why some random guy _____. It turned out he _____ my old man, but at the time I thought they must have been _____ or something. I was surprised to find out that they had actually been _____. And here I was, _____ with Auron, just like my old man had so many _____. Life is strange. I think that was the first time I really _____. I have Auron to thank for that.

2) It was right before the big _____. I think we were all a little _____, especially Wakka. He kept giving us _____, even though I didn't _____. After all, I was the _____ of _____. I noticed that the other guys were _____ on Wakka's _____. As I looked around at them, I realized that I was a bit jealous that I didn't get to _____, too. In Spira, my _____ was made fun of a lot and that made me _____. At that moment, the other Aurochs all turned to me, as if expecting me to _____. I had to make _____, because I hadn't been _____. I _____ about _____, and I even gave a few _____, particularly to _____, whose magic hands would _____ the _____. I think I was truly _____ at that moment, _____ than I had been since I _____.

3) I didn't tell anyone this, but when I first came to Spira, I had a difficult time choosing between _____, _____, and _____. They were all so _____ in different ways. But as time went on, it became easier for me to see who I should be with. At first, I thought _____ might be the one -- any _____ would want to _____ with _____. Then I realized that _____ was already _____ with _____. I wasn't about to get in the middle of that, so I turned my _____ to _____. _____ seemed to like having me _____, but _____ kept getting in the way of _____. Then, when _____ returned _____, I realized that I liked _____. Actually, I had really missed _____ since we had gotten separated _____. Unfortunately, _____ seemed more interested in _____ than in _____ with me, so that soon fizzled out. That's why I ended up _____ to _____. Even though _____ and even though _____, there was no denying that we _____ each other. I like to think it was _____.

4) I never wanted to believe that _____ was _____. In fact, the first time _____ was when I _____ that _____. I knew I shouldn't _____ and _____, but I couldn't help myself. As I _____ her _____ all of her _____, I realized that she never _____ my _____. To her, I was just _____. Sure, that's what _____ always _____, but I wanted her to _____, especially in her _____. Now that I look back on it, I realize that I was just _____. I realize that I _____ a lot.

5) Back in Zanarkand, I was used to being _____ by a lot of people. But ever since I arrived in Spira, it seemed like I did nothing but _____ myself. It was weird to be _____ instead of _____, but I soon _____. Some of the most _____ moments of my time in Spira happened when I first _____. Everyone was so _____ that I knew nothing about _____, and I had to keep _____ that it was _____ in my _____ that made me _____ everything. I also _____ myself when I grabbed that _____ and _____ the _____ that _____....and then _____. I was _____ when I found out about that time that Auron caught me _____ the _____. But the most _____ part of all was when I realized that everyone in the whole world _____ Yuna....except for me. I wanted to go home.

Make your own Wankese
In this section, you must come up with Wankese voiceovers for the following situations. For the final bonus question, you must use your Tidus skills to annoy the holy hell out of Auron. (Note: The bonus question is not a voiceover. Don't waste your opportunity to piss off Auron.) Click on the images to see larger and uncensored versions. Notice I said "uncensored". You've been warned.

1) The group comes up with an alternate plan to prevent Yuna from marrying Seymour. 2) During the cloister trials, Tidus snaps from the utter tedium and finally manages to get a smile out of Kimahri. 3) After splitting a pitcher of ale with O'aka, Tidus gets caught doing a super deformed impression for the entire pub. 4) Tidus, after humping that guy's neck and getting ahold of his binoculars, notices Lulu ten feet in front of him, doing toe touches just for the sheer joy of it. 5) Tidus finds the "secret" Jecht sphere and finds out the truth about the pilgrimage ten years ago. Bonus) You've been traveling with Auron for two days straight and you want to whine -- bad! What do you say to piss off an already grumpy Auron?

Be sure to read the rules and submission guidelines back on the main Wankese contest page before you submit your final test. Thank you for taking Wankese 101.