Since I have a very virulent strain of writer’s block at the moment, I figured the least I could do is put up a recap preview. By the way, I’m not even done yet and this may be the biggest recap I’ve ever written. I’m never doing one recap for an entire case again.
After the jump, our Ace Attorney meets someone who wears a pink suit. No, not that one. The other one. No, that other one.
Privately congratulating himself on finally getting somewhere with his case, Phoenix heads over to Redd White’s office at Bluecorp. The office is…oh my. I’m not even sure where to begin. Should I go with the obvious, and point out the familiar gay cowboy painting on the wall? Or perhaps the trophy case, with three — three! — penis-shaped trophies? How about the statue in the corner, of a naked man — with wang in full view — holding up a green, globular Bluecorp logo? But that would be to ignore the finest feature of the room: Mr. White’s desk. On the surface it is a normal, if very highly polished, slab of wood. But the legs holding up Mr. White’s work area are the headless bodies of naked men, crouched and hugging their knees. I’ve…I’ve got nothing. This is the single gayest room I have ever seen. Edgeworth, Squall and Milich Oppenheimer could be having a threesome right on top of the desk and it wouldn’t be any gayer.
The occupant of this outrageously flaming room pops into view, all fake smiles and handshakes (and ass grabs, I would bet). Seeing Redd White in the living, er, pixels presents a slightly different view than we had from the tiny photo of him, or even the still of him clubbing Mia over the head. Now we can see that Mr. White has giant fake diamond buttons on his pink suit jacket, and that his indigo tie is studded with rhinestones. He is also sporting ugly gold rings on every finger, which makes him look like he’s wearing brass knuckles as a fashion accessory. The overall effect is that he looks like a used car salesman. A used car salesman who loves naked dudes.
Mr. White demands, in a very cheery, car salesman-like way, to know who Phoenix is and what he wants. He declares Phoenix’s name “splendiferous” and then says something about Phoenix finding his “giantesque” vocabulary impressive. Between this exchange and the room the two men are standing in, I’m guessing Mr. White has a complex about being found large and impressive. He introduces himself unnecessarily, talks about how important he is some more, and offers to show Phoenix his penis. No, not really, but I can only see him from the waist up and I’m not discounting out the possibility that he isn’t wearing pants.