"The knight is aghast. 'Are you saying we're going to flee and abandon our mission?' he snaps, like it wasn't abundantly clear that that was exactly what Slowe was saying. But the disgusted underling turns his head to Marvy, trying to appeal to our boy's bravery and good sense. And, well, for one thing, Marvy isn't a snivelling baby. For another, those pirates hurt his boyfriend's ARM! Bitches gotta pay!"
Suikoden IV Part 2
Huh. Suikoden II. That’s a surprise. I was expecting a new FFX-2 recap next. This is fine too though.
Hmm… Not sure if I want to read it right now though. I’m going to be perfectly honest; I haven’t actually beaten Suikoden II before. I got up to where the previous recap left off before, but for some reason, I have never played past that. I don’t want to find out what happens next before I actually play through myself. Maybe if it we were still in the middle of the game, I’d consider reading anyway, but since you apparently recruited all of the remaining Stars of Destiny in this recap, that must mean we’re close to the end of the game.
– Anyway. High Yo puts on his After School Special toque and tells her, “You’re wrong, Gyokuran! Cooking is about more than just technique!” Barry nods fervently behind him–technique is important but what matters is dick size heart and soul. And dick size. —
I had read that as dick sauce, which, well, while full of protein, I would hope Barry would tell the people in advance about it.
Also, just finished the recap. Great stuff, as per usual… though it makes me think – the next part will likely be the last, won’t it? If memory serves, I don’t think there’s much more in the way of story and sidequests to cover since you got all the way up to Muse Redux Redux (Redux Redux, because seriously, I think the game forces you there more often than your own HQ).
Also, you made me actually want to try using Simone and Vincent in my next playthrough. I’m trying new parties out anyway (including boring Hanna, and I’m not sure I even care enough to remember if her name is spelled all palindromey or not), so they’ll be a welcome and colorful addition to my party.
I do love the Suikoden recaps. They are, quite possible the gayest games ever (though Legend of Twink and Anal Attorney are definite competitors!). Sam really went all out this time, especially with the screenshots. Again, hard to pick a particular quote, but I chose one from, quite possibly, the gayest scene ever: The Meeting of the Narcissists.
“When Simone spills out of Barry’s rectal cavity, Vincent squeals, “! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Oh Simone!!!!! I was looking for you, Simone!!!” Jesus Christ. He is clearly still coming down from the high of performing the extended-cut scene where Hamlet and Horatio make out and the king’s ghost masturbates in the corner. (I would boot Karen and The Burnt Village Slow Jam Experience off the castle stage in a hot second to see this play.)”
I think they should add this scene to every performance anf film version of Hamlet. I mean, really.
Well, I was just saying, Sam and Jeanne were talking about working on the FFX-2 recap in the comments a while back, so naturally, I was expecting an FFX-2 recap next.
Also, I just said “screw it” and read the recap anyway. I couldn’t stay away. Good stuff and lots of laughs, as usual. I can’t really pick just one favorite part. I’m actually really sad that the Suikoden II recap might be coming to an end soon. It has been a truly magical and homoerotic experience. It’s hands down my favorite recap to read and reread, though followed closely by Wind Wanker.
Holy shit, how did I not notice Lucia’s condom hair until now?
Awesome recap as always. I’m consistently amused by Teresa, Martyr-Poet of Greenhill, Apple’s uselessness, and the increasingly disgusting dishes cooked up by the Black Dragon Group. Seriously, these guys are supposed to be the most skilled chefs in the world, yet they’re offering vomtastic shit like spinach cake?
It’s probably a good thing Barry recruited so many hotties in this recap, since he’s going to need distractions when…that thing happens. The thing I totally lied about not crying at.
So, I gotta hijack this for a second. I’m recording a playthrough of Case 1-5 (also reading the recap on the side and I am so sad at what I’ll have to re-experience… hate this case) and after the first day in Court, I checked the luminol fluid bottle in the court record…
Check where Ema has her name written on the bottom and the follow neat exchange happens.
Phoenix: “Don’t tell me you take this with you everywhere you go…”
Ema: “Well, you never know where someone may go down.”
Heehee, go down. Also, I totally sprayed it all over Edgey’s office, too. Will spray it around Phoenix’ office as well when I get the next chance. (God forbid I’ll find the blood spot of where Mia died and the game has concistency…)
Btw I checked, yes. There are no blood splurts anywhere in Phoenix’ office. Guess he must’ve used the same strength stuff that removes blood like Lana did. (Which, according to some people who researched it, CAN be done with certain strong chemicals… not that this makes case 1-5 any better)