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"We're treated to a short, whitewashed montage of people dying. Handily enough, I know that these people are former holders of this rune, so it's funny that they just drop dead, instead of fading away into the mist or whatever like Brandeau did. Maybe he just had a flair for the dramatic."
     -Sam, Suikoden IV Part 2

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Another original post about penises

Here at VGR, we aim to please our readers, if by “please” we mean “post what we damned well feel like, when we feel like doing it.” Which is what I’m doing right now, on every VGR-ite’s favorite topic of discussion, the noble phallus.

See, the folks over at Mystic Trader/Pacific Spirit sent me a catalog in the mail the other day. And before I could read it, my dear Mr. AG had opened it and was idly flipping through it when he began laughing. When I finally could wrest the catalog away from him, I found out why:

The “Dick Chainey” Pendant, crafted of finest silver and available gift boxed. The must have accessory for all recappers everywhere. Behold it now, in all its glory, both at rest and proudly erect:

Penis necklace!

Nothing says “recapper” than a silver penis with a pull chain to make it sit up and beg, and that’s a fact.


Posted by Kelly

5 Responses to “Another original post about penises”

  1. MintWhelp Says:

    And, it’s also the size of a recapper’s wang I bet!

    Damn… It’s so unappropiate… Wished I could be 12 again and in my old ultra conservative school… THAT would have been a very good reason to send me to the principal office instead of the mildly stupid things I did.

  2. kazokuhouou Says:

    And just when you think the internet can’t surprise you anymore.

  3. Jeanne Says:

    That is awesome. I love how much effort went into crafting that, right down to the finely sculpted silver balls.

    I wonder how many angry e-mails they get about the Dick Chainey (hee) pendant.

  4. Vincent Valentine Says:

    My mother has a gold penis pendant (along with some other stuff like a pyramid, money bag, etc.) on a bracelet. When I was little she always told us it was a shoe. It didn’t have a pull chain to make it into a boner though.

  5. TsuNoBa Says:

    I want one, but “channeling my inner twelve-year-old” is not a good enough excuse to take forty dollars out of my Wii Fund.

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