"Then, since he doesn't die and has tragically already used his thought-out last words, Balbanes hastily adds, 'Delita's a good boy. He should serve you well.' Geez, the universe seems to be 'shipping Cesario/Delita all of a sudden. OMGTHEIRLOVEISSOCONFUSED."
Final Fantasy Tactics Part 1
Wahoo! Lunar! Reminds me, I need to get back to Silver Star Harmony… someday. Whenever. Anyway, hilarious stuff, and this…
“And now I have the unfortunate mental image of Gams sitting on top of the washing machine because it feels like Alex’s ocarina. Thanks, Squeak!”
…Here I got the mental image of Luna jilling off with Alex’s ocarina and dirty-talking to herself in a scolding, motherly tone because why not, their relationship’s already severely freaky in various ways.
I don’t know the Lunar series too well, but every time I read these recaps, I remember how much these games formed all the ideas my friends ever had for stories. And now I know why every relationship they ever wrote was forced hetero romance with no chemistry and WACKY slapstick abuse!!
Still, another great recap by Sam. Now I’m just imagining the game designers were patting themselves on the back about being so clever with their musical village despite not finding any way to actually tie it into the other plot events aside from the Blue Dragon.
I’m glad you’re all enjoying the recap! I know a lot of people didn’t play this game (and even less played Lunar 2) but it’s got a really special place in my heart–for a bunch of lame personal reasons I won’t bore everyone stupid with–and I LOVE recapping it.
And yeah, it’s REALLY emblematic of a lot of the anime and RPG plots of the ’90s (not to mention all the pop culture references), so it’s not surprising these themes and stories were a formative experience for a lot of people.
In fairness, I did not mention this in the recap, but one of the many random things the Blue Dragon says before he’s kidnapped is that he can hear the singing in Lyton and asks if they’re having a festival. Now, this is still stupid, because we know he did not wake up because of them, and his shrine did not appear because of them, but he does, I guess, pay attention to them? Because they swear they’re going to cut themselves for real this time if he doesn’t? That’s my guess.
As cheesy as they are, the Lunar games really are great (I think 2 is really damn good, to be frank), so it’s kind of a shame SSH didn’t reach a larger audience. Fellatio doesn’t have her fuck-awful voice anymore! On the other hand, Royce got one instead. She sounds like an 80-year-old grandma. The kind you’d call Grammy and who would have cookies for everyone. I… I don’t want to picture my grandma in pasties…
Also, you know what Lunar 2 really needed? Gratuitous male nudity! Like this one had! We got Nash’s ass, but not Hiro’s. We were a bit robbed as an audience.
And theory on the BD: He is always drunk-high and hallucinates many sounds and sights. Those rainbow wings are really LSD.
Sam, you are on a roll! Anyways, great recap as always. So many good sections to choose from: Xeboobia as a drunken and pithy talent scout; Kyle, Nash, Mia, and Jessica’s great Hetero Charade Lunar Idol Show; the sassy BD; but, it was your invocation of Sonic and Tails that inspired me to choose this section to quote:
” Jacuzzi room #4 is more of the same–I keep hoping I’m going to hop through a pool and end up in Kanji’s Bathhouse and it keeps not happening for me. Alex, Kyle, and Nash would be in hog heaven there, too. Sigh. The newest member of the Everything’s Gotta Be Blue family of monsters is a “Razor Wolf”–which, I’m sorry, this thing is so clearly supposed to be Sonic the Hedgehog that I’m almost insulted they bothered calling it anything else. It even spins really fast and hops around on our heroes’ heads like they’re stuffed with golden rings. I mean, it’s not wearing red sneakers, and is probably not in a gay relationship with a golden fox that is lovingly depicted in millions of graphic pieces of fan art, but come on.
Okay, even I can’t make up anything interesting about the remaining four jacuzzi rooms, and I just got this close to diving down the Sonic/Tails furry porn rabbit hole. I guess it’s worth noting that the final room leading to the Blue Dragon Chamber is fucking massive and I get lost for about 10 minutes. Yes, I got lost in this game. Also, there’s a Ruby Tiara for Jess in a chest somewhere in there, and like all her other tiaras, Kyle is gonna look great in it at 3 a.m. when he puts on his one-man burlesque show in his tent. But that is totally it. So let’s just skip right to the end.”
Hee. I also stand by the notion–which you imply–that this whole Magic Emperor Ghaleon thing is just one giant jealous hissy fit when Dyne refused to raise LUna with him as their take-over the world gay love child.