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"Indeed, everyone's worst expectations from the last recap have come true. Seifer is no more. He has kicked the bucket, bought the farm, gone to the big gay bar in the sky, and, well, died. And there's no chance whatsoever that this is false, since it all happened offscreen. Yeah."
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08.23.08

We’re going to need some serious ear bleach.

Pajiba, the fabulous and wonderfully snarky movie and pop-culture review blog has the review for the new animated Clone Wars movie here. And there, lovely VGR readers, when you read mid-way down the page at the voice *ahem* talent that’s voicing Obi-Wan Kenobi, your soul will die.

Die, I tell you, die, whimpering and screaming and sobbing for mercy.

For not only has George Lucus inflicted us with three crappy prequels (the first one only saved slightly by both Liam “Hotpants” Neeson and Ewen “Studboy” McGregor on screen at the same time), he has done grevious injury to us all in the form of aural rape by chosing James Arnold Taylor to voice Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Tidus. Playing Obi-Wan. James Arnold Fucking Taylor playing Obi-Wan Kenobi, who lest you forget, was played by Alec Guiness in A New Hope/Episode IV.

I’m really hoping the ghost of Alec Guiness is hanging around JAT’s house, throwing things. I know I would.

Posted by Kelly

16 Responses to “We’re going to need some serious ear bleach.”

  1. MintWhelp Says:

    I had an awful vision. Obi Wan lapsing into Wankese:

    “Anakin wasn’t Darth Vader. That’s what I would have said if he wasn’t Darth Vader. But he was. Listen to my story… AH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!”

    The fake laughter of doom killed my brain cells, so I could not see more.

  2. TsuNoBa Says:

    Ah, it’s a good thing I’m not a big Star Wars fan and have no interest in seeing it, then.

    …Also, I now have “Gonna Dig Up Alec Guiness” stuck in my head. Thanks.

  3. LeFox Says:

    Never have I been, nor will I ever be, more grateful to not be a Star Wars fan.

    But my best friend is.

    D:

  4. Jeanne Says:

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. :(

  5. Quartz Falcon Says:

    Actually, JAT voiced Obi-Wan on the Cartoon Network Clone Wars as well. But then, that was directed by Genndy “Anti-wank” Tartakovsky.

  6. AirAce Says:

    Before I say anything, I wish to express that I respect you all alot. Often I shared your point of view.

    But Have any of you see it? Or are you all just complaining because who the voice actor is. This reminds me of the whole bitch fest people made because of who voiced Sephiroth in Kingdom hearts. And most of the people who played it ended up noting the voice didn’t make much difference then.

    And no I am not a huge Starwars fanatic. I went to see it because it was my friend’s birthday and I let her choose the movie. I found Obi-wan anything but a wanker.

    Did it ever occur to anyone that the voice actor is just another guy reading a script regardless if its in a game or movie? If we want to complain about Tidus being a gay cry baby we should point fingers at the people who made the game and script.

    Sorry for the long rant but it annoys me when people pass judgment on something and don’t even give the movie/game a try. If any of you seen it and still think he sucked well I am glad you gave it a try.

    Now I shall go hide from the mass lynching I think I asked for

  7. TsuNoBa Says:

    Actually, I rather like him in the Ratchet and Clank series. I just like complaining, and he’s easy to make fun of.

    Kind of like how, if I had found the MGS series years ago, rather than after MGS4 came out, I might have made fun of Raiden along with the people who disliked him, even though I personally do like him. If people went too far, I would have defended him. I’m not sure what most people think now, but I know he was hated in MGS2. I still haven’t figured out why, but whatever.

    Or like how I friggin’ LOVE Otacon, but I still laugh so hard when he asks Snake if “love can bloom, even on a battlefield.”

    To me, the insults are still in the “fun” category. I’m not entirely sure when I’ll feel the line has been crossed, but so far, it doesn’t feel so bad. If he were a normal person, the line would probably have been crossed a while ago. But his name is well known, so it’s not like making fun of the unpopular kid in school behind his back, it’s more like making fun of celebrities on Jay Leno.

    I’ve also noticed VGR tends to slightly exaggerate things, so I figure everyone’s joining in on that like I am. Because exaggerating is the most awesome thing ever.

    Also, I actually don’t have much interest in Star Wars. It’s okay, but I don’t understand how it got such a gigantic fandom.

    Here, I’ll be kind and present another lynching target by saying that I kind of liked Jar-Jar.

  8. TsuNoBa Says:

    …Also, why does WordPress not have a “preview” feature? I wanted to strikeout that last line, and it would have been nice to have a reminder that I actually need to write “strike” instead of “s”. Sure, it says it right under the text box, I normally only use it as a reference to see what tags they do allow. If I see someone using strikeout above, I’m going to assume they do allow it and not bother looking.

    Moreover, I’m going to assume that the same friggin’ tag that works ON EVERY OTHER WEB SITE is going to work here.

  9. Jeanne Says:

    Write to WordPress tech support or take a look at the tags listed under the comment box.

  10. Kelly Says:

    AirAce, before you start swinging on the “My Star Wars e-penis is much bigger than your Star Wars e-penis” vine or the tutt-tutt finger shaking at the site’s very well established tradition of JAT hate, (seriously, did you miss it somewhere? Are you fucking blind?), I have a long tradition of Star Wars fangirl myself, but – and I need to stress this, because apparently folks seem to miss it – that doesn’t mean that I’m going to let George Lucas puke on me and call it cinema.

    I’ve heard JAT’s attempt at Obi Wan. I’ve heard his attempt at Jack Sparrow. Both times, I really wished I hadn’t.

    Oh, and way to totally miss the goddamned point of the post. Christ, are we going to have to invent a “hyperbole for the sake of comedy” tag now?

  11. inutilus Says:

    I just imagined Tidus, with that creepy zombie “gonna eat your brains” smile, wearing cheap, gradeschool star wars cosplay.

    I think my brain just died.

    Thanks.

    (And OMG he does Obi-wan’s voice? I have got to see this…)

  12. kazokuhouou Says:

    Actually, Kelly, I thought his Jack Sparrow was kinda good.

    His Obi-Wan, though….yeeeeah….

    And I’d haunt him too, but I’ve already got other people I want to haunt.

  13. AirAce Says:

    I’m sorry

  14. Ryan Says:

    I just wish I could have been a fly on the wall when they were sitting around, talking this brain fart out.

    “Shit, man, McGregor is running us through the strainer on this one. We can’t possibly pay as much as he’s asking for just VA work, even if it is for the same character he’s been playing for years now! What are we gonna do?”

    “Guys, guys, I’m just spitballing here, but you know who I’ve always loved? I mean I just thought he really did stellar work? And would probably sign on for way cheaper?”

    “Um, who?”

    “James Arnold Taylor.”

    “Dude. Brilliant. And they sound exactly the same so I doubt anybody will even notice the difference.”

    “I know right? He’s perfect.”

    “Totally. Dodged a bullet there. Good work.”

    “Thank you. Let’s celebrate by lighting a flaming bag of crap outside George Lucas’ trailer again. That was a total blast last time.”

  15. PunkNoodles Says:

    Oh my god.
    I can’t believe I didn’t notice! I feel so…dirty for seeing that movie now.
    eew.

  16. AirAce Says:

    Oh Lord.. They are started a new clone wars series started right after where the movie ended!

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