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"I'm not sure if Twink needs to eliminate all the ships and cannons, or just the one asshole blocking his way, but I decide to take them all out, just for good measure. Plus, it's kind of fun to shoot giant flaming balls out of a phallic protrusion even if I'm bad at it."
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Jeanne’s Pokemon Adventures (Part 1)

Uuuuuuuuugh…Pokemon;. I kind of hate myself, but I went and got myself Pokemon LeafGreen, Emerald, Diamond, and My Pokemon Ranch. Take a moment to point and laugh at me — get it out of your systems.

My main goal in playing all of these soul-draining games is to fill up my ranch. I can’t deny my (platonic) love of watching chibi Pokemon run around acting cute and blasting themselves out of the Poke Rocket (not a euphemism). Of course my ranch would not be complete without a Bulbasaur or twenty, which is why I had to get LeafGreen. I have not yet achieved my goal of getting Bulbasaur on my ranch — I have a fuckbillion hours of tedious level building before that dream is realized. Woe.

I share Sam’s discomfort with capturing redundant Pokemon, but it’s kind of unavoidable when trying to fill up the ranch to its limit of 999 Pokemon, or trying to get some of the ranch special events. At least I have an Edgeworth Mii to help wrangle the fifty thousand phallic Pokemon and fuchsia ballsack Pokemon I’ve got inhabiting the place.

But the best part of all? After reading about how rare it is to run into a shiny Pokemon in the wild, I managed to catch one in the first fifteen minutes of playing LeafGreen. Yeah, that’s right — a shiny Rattata. Awesome. I might as well catch a piece of crap with glitter sprinkled on it. I commented to John that I need a a shiny Metapod, a shiny Magikarp, or a shiny Zubat to add to my shiny collection of win.

And then I caught a shiny Zubat in Diamond. Ha ha, Pokemon gods, very funny.

So do any of you have fantastic Pokemon ranches? Does Hayley insist on bringing you nothing but trash Pokemon? Do you have any amusingly pathetic stories of shiny Pokemon you’ve captured? Anyone have a shiny Metapod?

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Posted by Jeanne

11 Responses to “Jeanne’s Pokemon Adventures (Part 1)”

  1. kazokuhouou Says:

    Way back when in Gold, I caught a shiny Metapod. And in Sapphire I got the shiny Zubat.

  2. Rydia Says:

    I have a shiny Slowpoke. I’m sure you’re Edgey mii (that is utter win, by the way), would love it. Pathetically, it is the only shiny I ever managed to grab. In hundreds of nerdy hours playing Pokémon…the only one. That is sad.

    …great, you’re making me want to go play Pokémon now. Thanks, Jeanne. =3

  3. icecreamkatana Says:

    I’d like to start again on my copy of FireRed, but that would mean I’d lose my shiny pidgey. And that, frankly, would be a life not worth living. |:
    Edgeworth’s magical sparkly Pokemon farm sounds exciting. You should try to get him a shiny Wobuffet – my friend gave one to me, it looks like a big smiling wobbling tumor.

  4. Xyrafhoan Says:

    Hey, I think a shiny raticate (if you bother to level that far) is far better than a shiny kricketune that I caught in Pearl. Super fang is so broken. But the rest of my shiny pokemon are better (floatzel, trapinch evolved into flygon, and venomoth).

  5. Albedo667 Says:

    I’ve never had the fortune of coming across a shiny pokemon in my 1000ish hours of playing. Kind of sad, really. I want a shiny Pidgey really badly now.

  6. --Shoal-- Says:

    I caught a Shiny Magnemite in Sapphire, ran into a Shiny Budew in Diamond and in Leaf Green I resetted for a Shiny Pinsir at the game corner. You know, save in front of the game counter, buy a Pinsir and if it isn’t shiny reset the game and buy the Pinsir again.

    ..You know you have the shiny fever when you go that far. But hey, it only took a day to get the Pinsir instead of weeks or months! :D

  7. kazokuhouou Says:

    God, Shoal, I’ve heard of so many people doing that to get a shiny starter or legendary, what’s the point? Besides bragging rights.

  8. MintWhelp Says:

    What the heck? Shiny pokemon? I believe those folk don’t know what to do in order to keep you playing over and over again… Might as well handcuff people to the damn videogame system…

  9. Albedo667 Says:

    I was just playing Crystal and even though I’ve never encountered a shiny pokemon once, I just got Pokerus. For those of you who don’t know the chances of getting pokerus in G/S/C, it’s about 1/3 the chance of getting a shiny. Go figure.

  10. AirAce Says:

    I kinda admire anyone who can sit thru the game long enough to get even one shiny pokemon. Sadly my attention span be too short to even get to the first town in any of them.

  11. --Shoal-- Says:

    “God, Shoal, I’ve heard of so many people doing that to get a shiny starter or legendary, what’s the point? Besides bragging rights.”

    Well, I suppose you could be especially fond of the color the shiny version of the Pokemon is.

    The person may also just collect shinies, or they love the little sparkle they see when they send the Pokemon out..

    But yeah. Bragging rights is it for the most part. :p

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