"This unfathomably powerful and kinky attack is not officially hers until a little later, but I'll tell you now that it's called X-BUSTER, or, as I prefer, X-CLITORIS. Hey, who said she had to be all about the penises?"
Xenosaga Part 9
Sam has finished another Anal Attorney recap, this one covering the first day of the fifth case. If you like long, impressive recaps, cases filled with plotholes, and the color fuchsia, then this will make your day.
Definitely, my favorite sentence in the recap: Edgeworth does the work of explaining the contradiction to Angel, since Phoenix is busy putting his phone down his pants and snapping a photo to get Edgeworth in the mood for recess.
By the way, what you think of the new Anal Attorney game coming out next month?
“Frowning at them, Rooster Cockbutt here says, “Looks like a bambina got loose from the ranch and is up to no good! Folks gotta learn to keep them dogies tied down, pardner.” At this last bit he tips up his hat and smiles at Phoenix. Is Phoenix the bambina? He is so confused and possibly turned on.”
Combined with his spiel on cactus dreams, I completely lost it right about here. But of course the whole recap is golden because it’s Anal Attorney. The fact that “Prosecutors are, by nature, well-versed in the location of a man’s vital organs” is a real line in this game just cements that.
Also, Angel’s necklace is not even a calamari… it’s a hot dog weiner cut into an octopus shape. Penis!
I just asked on a forum why the lack of blood at the crime scene and they showed me the picture. Which resulted in me giving them more mistakes about the blood at the crime scene and overall in this case. Oh man, picking the Top 3 Worst Cases for me are 3-5, 2-4 and 1-5… 1-5 the worst simply because it’s so long and boring.
Oh, this recap was just golden. It’s hard to pick out a favorite line, since it all works together so well, but here is the first one I deemed worthy of copy/pasting:
I have to admit, my brain did some arithmetic when I had to break down this man’s appearance. It went like this:
(Flamboyant, but perfectly tailored suit + obvious care put into hair and tan) / (crucifix necktie + creepy, stuffy, buttoned-up aura) = Marcus Bachmann.
I look forward to reading Jeanne’s recap of the VIDEO, which I think is an even bigger bane than the myriad photos that show up in multiple cases for a) the goddamn Blue Badger music b) the sheer number of times they trot the damn thing out and c) how clearly in love the game designers were with moving pictures in a mostly still frame game.
I will also say I saw the lesbian connection between Mia and Lana but never included Angel in the mix. Another great revelation thanks to trusty recappers.
And on that note of relationships, I leave you with this. As a purveyor of many fan sites and galleries, the pairing I have most often seen Damon Gant in is with…..Yanni Yogi, of all people. I don’t know where this crack came from, but Gant is usually portrayed as a creepy stalker pedophile (not too far-fetched) whereas Yogi is portrayed as a naive, innocent child figure (out of left-field, it seems).
You can all thank me for the mental image that gives you!
I am a longtime VGR reader who only just now made an account. I’m quite lazy you see.
So, this was another good PW recap in my opinion. I enjoy reading them, even though I find all of the plotholes and the flaws with the game world’s legal system incredibly irritating. Like, Rinoa and Shion standing on either side of me and screeching into my ears-irritating.
So, whatever game the site’s next recap is, I’ll be looking foward to it. I’m kind of hoping for a Tales of Destiny recap, if only because it’s a blind playthrough. For some reason, I am fixated on watching people go through things that I’ve already experienced for the first time. (Nothing dirty intended by that statement, honest.) Like how the Nostalgia Critic is currently reviewing each episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender as he watches them for the first time. That’s been the highlight of my day, every day for the past few weeks. But I digress. I can’t say I actually expect anyone here to be interested in my life story.
I still get ridiculously excited whenever I see a new PW recap has been posted, and this one definitely brought the hilarity. The entire thing is golden, but the following line jumped out at me since it seems to describe the entire game:
“Now, I’d say this is where things start getting really stupid, but let’s be real, at no point has this case not been stupid.”
Also loved the lesbian love triangle and, of course, the inevitable plothole-fueled ranting.
(Off-topic: Welcome, Lord-Derpface. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the ToD recap is on a temporary hiatus. Hopefully you’ll enjoy my upcoming recap though!)