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"Auron pulls out the Masamune and swings it up on his shoulder, to increase the Coolness Quotient that was lost during the crotch checks. The camera focuses on Auron's face so he can give us his last words: 'This is your world now. Try not to fuck it up, for God's sake. Oh, and find a sarcastic replacement for me for the sequel.' The scene fades to white and when it fades back in, Auron's pyreflies float up to the heavens. Or the fake heavens inside the giant dead sea monster. And he brought the Masamune with him to the Farplane. Sure, that makes sense. Fade to black."
     -Jeanne, Final Fantasy X Part 22




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Archive for 10.13

10.26.13

Suikoden III Part 12

If you’re looking for a buttfucking good time, check out Sam’s latest Suikoden III recap. Well, I’m not sure Sam had such a good time considering who she was recapping, but that usually means a good time for the rest of us. Sorry, Sam!


Posted by Jeanne at 19:13

10.26.13

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies Open Thread

Jesus, that is a mouthful of a title.

Anyway, feel free to talk about the newest Anal Attorney game here. We ask that, if you want to talk spoilers, you preface your post with a specific spoiler warning (e.g. “Spoilers through case 4″). Remember that Jeanne and I have to check the comments so we’d appreciate not finding out that Phoenix and Edgeworth die at the end with each other’s penises in their hands.

And for those of you who want to be sure to remain entirely unspoiled, I would suggest just waiting to read this thread until later. Non-spoilery funny lines, wardrobe commentary, and so on are totally fine to discuss without spoiler warnings.

Like this!

Simon Blackquill

 


Posted by Sam at 11:35

10.20.13

Hot dog, we have a wiener

Guys, we may as well close up shop. It’s been a good run here at VGR, but I don’t think we are ever going to find as fine an example of videogame homoerotica as this Pokemon:

Honedge

 

This is Honedge. Not only does he have lovely scrollwork and a fine plume, but he is a sword that is also a one-eyed monster. That’s hustle. But why stop there? When Honedge evolves, he turns into this:

Doublade

 

It goes without saying that Doublade’s fancy fuchsia plumage is an upgrade over the blue. But then he also clones himself and becomes, per Jeanne, the Touching Wieners Pokemon. While Doublade is a product of the supposedly asexual evolution process, I remain convinced that this came about because two Honedges screwed in the tall grass. Edgeworth will make an exception to his distaste for taxidermy to stuff this thing and hang it in his office.

Oh, and new recaps soon!


Posted by Sam at 11:29


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