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"The triumphant sounding ship battle music starts up as the camera lovingly caresses every curve of De Loco's ship. Interestingly, the phallic ship has three phallic cannons sticking out the front, making it even more penisy. Just when I think that can't possibly happen. 'Heeheehee! Fear the power of the invincible [Red Lizard]!!!' De Loco screams in ecstasy. Well, I do kind of fear it, but for different reasons."
     -Jeanne, Skies of Arcadia Part 8

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Archive for 01.10


Scheduled Maintenance

I’m biting the bullet and upgrading WordPress tonight. So I apologize in advance for breaking anything. After I’m done with this, you’ll probably need to log in again. Sorry for any inconvenience!

Update: I, uh, think it’s done. Let me know if anything looks effed up.

Posted by Jeanne at 18:12


Tales of Symphonia Part 4

Now that the post-holiday non-fun catch-up is complete, I finally got around to editing and posting the next Tales of Symphonia recap. In this installment, Lloyd is dumb, foreshadowing is clumsy, dialogue is repeated, plot points are contradicted, and I am ready to jump off a cliff. That doesn’t narrow it down, so I’ll specify that I’m talking about Part 4. You know, like it says in the title of the post? You people need to pay more attention.

Posted by Jeanne at 23:16


Dungeons and Dillholes

After eight hours of glorious, free, non-rapeful sleep, I left the pirate ship and headed out into the fine, fish-smelling air of the waterfront. I had a shop to visit, and a homosexual Wood Elf’s day to ruin. I decided to wear some of my graverobbed clothes for the occasion.

This time, I tried to use tact when I informed him that his entire inventory had been stolen off corpses. I shouldn’t have even bothered, since the little asshat jumped right down my throat. He accused me of making shit up so that Jensine could get rid of him. This pissed me off. I had just escaped some creepy fuck’s basement of death, and now I was getting verbally reamed by a guy who wore his sideburns in pigtails? I don’t think so.

I practically threw the incriminating book at him, and after he took a look at it, he quickly changed his tune. According to Thoronir, he had no idea where his goods came from. I guess the smell of rotting flesh didn’t tip him off. Also, considering the items in Thoronir’s shop inventory, people are buried with some weird shit. I mean, fruits and vegetables? Gross.

As soon as Thoronir started saying stuff like an apology wasn’t enough to make up for this horrible crime against the dead he had perpetuated, and he wished he could find some way to make it up to everyone, I quickly cut him off at the pass. If he was desperate enough to offer favors to a woman, then he must really be in a bad place. I decided to give him a task much more suited for his particular talents: help me take down Agarmir. Thoronir perked right back up when I said this.

After promising to never, ever, EVER see Agarmir again (not sure I believed that), he told me that Agarmir had put him off earlier, saying he had urgent business elsewhere. Thoronir took this literally, and with the information I had just given him, he decided that Agarmir must be plundering corpses at this very moment. In the middle of the morning in broad daylight. He would have to be seriously dumb. But hey, the guy had blood and other horrible evidence in his basement and only an Average level lock on the door, so we’re not talking about genius level thinking here.

I wasn’t going to risk confronting an unstable freak while wearing my fine clothing of the dead, so I changed into my formidable leather armor for the occasion. To the graveyard!


Posted by Jeanne at 17:01


Recapper Roleplay Returns! (soon)

Yeah, yeah, it’s been a while since the last Recapper Roleplay, even though I have a bunch of entries already written. Here’s the thing — I’ve been recapping from the PS3 version of Oblivion, which involves me setting up a camera on a tripod. That’s just too much damn work, I decided. I got the PC version of Oblivion in the meantime, but there’s no way to transfer a saved game from one system to the other. What a dilemma. Finally, this last week, I recreated my Jeanne Recapiere character on the PC and retraced all the steps from the entries I’d written. This was the most thrilling thing I’ve ever done. But oh, how much easier to take screenshots! Plus, I have some sweet-ass plug-ins for the PC version!

Since it’s pretty impossible to recreate character faces exactly — at least for someone as lazy as me — Jeanne Recapiere 2.0 is not identical to her PS3 counterpart. So now I get to replace any earlier screenshots so that Jeanne won’t have to face accusations of plastic surgery.

I have both Tales of Symphonia Part 4 and another Recapper Roleplay entry coming soon. Stay tuned!

Posted by Jeanne at 20:49

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