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"Through one tiny passageway the party finds the exit, blocked by the boss, a giant electric mushroom--which totally makes sense--called the Truffle Troubler. Mushroom. Truffle. Ah, I get it! Very clever! And the alliteration! So many levels."
     -Sam, Lunar: Silver Star Story Part 4

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Archive for 01.08


Just One of Those Days…

Dear Diary,

You know how some days just really, really suck? And just when you think things can’t get any shittier, they do? Well today was a prime example of that kind of day.

First of all, I woke up in prison this morning. And not just any prison — the Imperial Pound-Me-in-the-Ass Prison. The sad thing is, I can’t even remember what I did to get there. None of the guards saw fit to enlighten me either, the jerks. Since I had a lot of free time on my hands and not much else to do for the rest of my life, I made a mental list of the most likely possibilities:

1) Drunk and disorderly
2) Playing the Penis Game too loudly

Really, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were both. Such is the life of a recapper.

So I sat around for a while, feeling sorry for myself and wondering why no one bothered to pick up the last occupant’s skeletal remains from my cell. My pity party was constantly interrupted by the asshat in the cell across from mine who kept yelling random shit and racial slurs at me. Just because I’m a Breton, he thought that was cause enough to call me a “stuck-up harlot” who uses “cheap parlor tricks.” Whatever. The daughter of the great Recapiere family is immune to such insults. Besides, he was a Wood Elf (or Bosmer, if you want to use the PC term), so I’m sure the fact that I have a vagina automatically put me on his shitlist, if you follow me.


That fucker shut up really quick when some new figures approached. One of them was a guy in fancy robes and jewelry. My heart sank — with that getup, he could only be the one they called “Lord Rapinator.” As if my day couldn’t get any worse! Lord Rapinator had two guards with him — a talky chick and a black dude. Sorry, “Redguard.” As I huddled fearfully in the back corner of my cell, the whole crew entered. The cell, that is.

Then, Lord Rapinator — an old guy with gray girl hair and Captain Picard’s voice — started talking like he knew me and that we had met by fate. Like it wasn’t bad enough that I had to deal with his…attentions…I had to play along with his weird romantic fantasies, too?


Posted by Jeanne at 14:24


Recapper Roleplay

Have you ever wondered what would happen if the recappers themselves were game characters and kept diaries of the crazy, snarkworthy worlds around them? Or if your favorite game characters wrote about their adventures in a blog?

Wonder no more!

We’re trying out a new feature on the site which I have tentatively titled “Recapper Roleplay.” This has none of the sick connotations that probably just popped into your pervy minds. The first installment will feature Jeanne Recapiere, a character in the game Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, who just happens to be the daughter of a once-famous recapping family. Will she fulfill her goal of restoring her family’s name and becoming a famous recapper? Or does fate have other plans for her?

Find out soon!

Posted by Jeanne at 14:06


The Water Weenie that Ate Tokyo

I dare you to watch this video and not scream “Penis” at the screen. In fact, I double dog dare you.

Posted by Kelly at 19:45


Gaykuten Saiban 4

I’m pretty sure I already used that title for one of my LJ posts way back when, but cut me some slack here — you have to admit it’s fitting.Limited Edition box front

The other day I finished the Japanese version of Gyakuten Saiban 4, known to the English-speaking world by the not at all gay name of Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. I bought the limited edition of the game when it came out last April in Japan, and played through the first day of the fourth case before I stopped. Since the English version is coming out here in the states in February, I decided I’d pick it up again and finish it before then.

I considered glossing over the reason why I stopped playing it, in the interest of maintaining some of my personal dignity. But I can’t lie to you guys, especially not when it gives you the the perfect chance for a laugh at my expense. Your humor, after all, is more important than my emotional well-being. You see, I got to a point where it was too emotionally depressing for me to continue.Limited Edition box back

There, I said it. I got depressed over a video game. I suppose that’s somewhat understandable — as a 12-year-old boy, my emotions are not fully developed and I get upset easily.

(Behind the cut, no major plot spoilers, but if you don’t want to know anything about the game, you’ll probably want to skip this.)


Posted by Jeanne at 18:33


Phoenix Wright part 2 preview

Since I have a very virulent strain of writer’s block at the moment, I figured the least I could do is put up a recap preview. By the way, I’m not even done yet and this may be the biggest recap I’ve ever written. I’m never doing one recap for an entire case again.

After the jump, our Ace Attorney meets someone who wears a pink suit. No, not that one. The other one. No, that other one. (more…)

Posted by Sam at 17:33

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